A few weeks ago I was home for spring break. I drove my dad
to Atlanta to see my mom sing with the Jubalheirs at Wieuca Road Baptist Church
(sidenote: possibly the most beautiful church on the inside that I’ve ever seen.)
It was the first night I was home, and the first time I had been
home the whole semester. During that time, my parents have been dealing with
several things, mainly adjusting to life as/with a stroke victim. My dad had
another stroke a few weeks before I came home, and it affected his vision. He
had to quit his job, and he made the decision to stop driving for his and
everyone else’s safety (which is why I was driving him to Atlanta).
The concert was beautiful, and the lights in the church were
so pretty. Before we found the sanctuary, we walked around completely confused
about how to get there from the parking garage. We definitely have been living
in the country for too long. But we found it, and the concert was great.
We were driving home, and I was so happy to be back and see
them. But, also I was just seeing for myself how the strokes had recently affected
him.
While I was driving, my dad and I were talking. And he asked
me about what I wanted to do after college. And we talked about how it’s been
hard for me to not really connect and feel at home with a church since we left Centennial. And he asked
me about how I feel about being single. No one ever asks me how I actually feel
about that.
And we talked about my mom. He talked about how he dated
some girls in college, but he said “It was fine, we went out and had fun. But it
wasn’t like I couldn’t breathe. When I met your mom…that’s when I couldn’t
breathe.”
He loves her so much. And he loves my brothers and me so much. And I love
him so much. Even the possibility of being in a world without him someday
scares me to my core. But, we can't live in fear of what may or may not happen. If we do, we'll miss out on what's right in front of us while we're consumed with "what ifs". You don't want to miss the little moments and conversations that seem simple but are actually precious and irreplaceable.
I am so glad to have a renewed
thankfulness for having him around because of this season in our lives. It is so easy to take each other
for granted, and to think that nothing will ever change, and that your family will
be around forever. But there are only so many chances to drive back at night
from Atlanta and talk about life with your dad.
No matter how many years I have left with my dad, I will be
grateful for every single one. He has taught me so much by how he lives and by being
true to who he is, and I respect and love him immensely. I am incredibly blessed by how
he loves me, and thankful for the questions that he asks and how he cares about how I
really feel.
He has been such a picture of God’s love in my life. I don’t
ever want to fail to realize what I have in my earthly father.
When I left to come back to school, he hugged me a little
tighter than usual. And he said “I love you. Don’t ever forget that. When
you’re having a bad day, just know that I love you.”
And that’s really all that I need to know.
