Overcoming independence.

Many times, especially in the phase of life that I'm in, independence is constantly pushed on you.

Ready or not, it's time to do it on your own. That's the way it goes. And most of us rise to meet it and do just fine.

Even though I'm a person who has never really liked to be on their own for too long, I've adjusted quite well to life on my own. But in some areas of my life, I've become a little too independent.

So many times, I'm in this mindset of getting things done on my own. And sometimes, asking God for help becomes a thought in the back of my mind rather than my main concern.

But the truth of it is, I can't do anything on my own. I wouldn't even be able to take my next breath if He didn't allow it. So what makes me think I can handle things that come up in my life all on my own? I mean it's not like I never ask for help. I do. But many times I'm so busy checking things off on my "things to deal with" list that I don't realize how silly I'm being by trying to deal with it on my own.

Instead of letting Him lead the way, I try and take the lead and make my plans and hope that He can work through them in the way He wants. But I shouldn't expect Him to have to work from my blueprints and get the same result that He's after. If someone were to have a plan for a house and wanted it to turn out a certain way, you couldn't take them your blueprint and expect them to put work into that and still come out with what they were originally trying to accomplish. And the truth of it is, it's not about what I'm after anyways. Because as many times as I fail to remember it, my life is not about me, but rather it is about bringing glory to the one who gave it to me in every way possible.

So now comes the hard part. Stepping back and releasing my control. Letting Him take the lead, and submitting my will for His. Only by doing that can I experience the fullness of things to come through surrendering my world to His control.

I have always been a planner. I am a list maker, and I am easily focused on things that need to be accomplished. But rather than plan out all the details in a way that makes sense to me, I have to start letting Him make the plans, and then jump in to get involved in whatever ways He allows me to.

I read in a blog a few weeks ago that "We lose so much of life's adventure in the planning." And for this spirit that's been feeling more than a little restless these days, some adventure sounds great. Especially by a God who can create a life for me that is infinitely better than one I could ever imagine.

Even as I focus on relenting my stronghold on control tonight, I know that this is not the only time I will have to do so. As humans we love to control things around us, and I am sure that at some points, I will try and regain control when I don't understand the way things are going. But I know that God will lead me in the way that He wants me to go, and my main thing to focus on, rather than writing the plans, is following the plans of the Writer, Redeemer, and Savior of my soul.

Keep my heart open as You lead me, Lord.