2 AM reflections.

It's just shy of 2 AM. And while my ocean sounds are playing loud and clear on my clock radio, I am not asleep. So why not write about it. Not sure what "it" is, but we'll see what comes out.

It is now July 12th which means that I am a month and a day away from moving back to college. And who would have ever dreamed with how last semester was that I would ever be this excited to get back. But I definitely am. I miss my friends. I miss my cozy room. I miss doing laundry on Saturday mornings and watching The Nanny. I even miss the bookstore and the occasional cute boys that come in and are nice to me. They're one of my favorite parts.

But for now, for another month at least, I'm here at home. With completely unreliable work, and soon to be 12 extra credit hours under my belt thanks to my online classes. So it hasn't been a completely wasted summer. Definitely hasn't changed my life, but it's been somewhat productive. Not job-wise. But I'm almost caught up through season 2 of How I Met Your Mother, so I'm going to just pretend that that's an accomplishment I can be proud of.

I'm really ready to have a year that's "my year". One where things turn around and maybe start getting better. I want to find new friends that I adore and I want to find some handsome guy that maybe likes me a little bit, and Lord knows I am desperately hoping to make some money. And because I just read that last sentence, just because I want new friends does not mean that I don't like the ones I have now. I adore them. I would just like a few more to add to the mix. And definitely more of the male variety. We need more of those in our group. Preferably single ones, just saying. We've had enough of the bff's boyfriend type to last me for a while, thanks. Help me out here, Lord.

Until the new semester begins, (which should probably be called the Wondrous Fall or something like that to show it that I really have faith that it will be good) I'm just going to try not to lose my mind. And I'm going to squeeze in as much family time as possible, because so far those days where we get to do things have been my favorite days.

I feel like college so far has been a two-year constant nagging feeling like I'm on the verge of something, but never ever reaching what the something actually is. I've been flirting with the edge for 2 years now. And college is great and all, but I just know that there is more to be seen than what I have seen so far. And no, it is not simply more episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

One day I might look back on these days that I am tiring of, and wish I had them back. I probably will because that's how life goes. But right now I'm just ready for something else. Something new. Someone new? Because some of the people (read: guys) lingering in my head need to be nudged out by better ones. It's just time.

But until those new times wander in, I'll just be here listening to John Mayer and believing that my best days really are ahead. Because sometimes having hope in something ahead is the only way to make it through a less than peaceful night.