Growing.

When I was little, faith was simple. I grew up in a Christian home, as a the daughter of a preacher no less. I was saved at a young age, & I never had a day where I didn't know the name of Jesus. I've just kind of always believed. But it was much simpler back then. Now that I'm older I'm starting to see how that faith plays out on a much deeper level. I'm seeing how His love is truly expressed in so many areas of life. I'm able to recognize & connect things in Scripture that I couldn't before. I'm growing.

Looking back on when I was younger makes me realize how much I've changed since then. I've grown up & made a lot of new goals. Goals to truly improve myself. To improve my walk with Christ. To become a better version of myself, every single day on this earth. The way I see it, every day puts us either closer to where we want to be, or puts us one step backwards. There isn't much of a medium. Either we're growing or we're drifting. Because the longer we're not growing, that time as a whole would definitely count as drifting. So to me it just makes sense to aim to grow.

It takes realizing that the things that hold us back every day, whether it be our attitude, our fears, our prejudice, our selfishness; these things need to be left behind. If we continue to carry them with us day to day, struggling against them all the while, they continue to hold us back. It's time to overcome these & leave them behind. Until we get tired enough of the same old struggles that we allow ourselves to fall into time & time again, they will continue to hold us back. But the thing is, as much as we want to hold on to whatever it may be, the Lord has so much more for us once we let go.

I don't want to go throughout my life dealing with the same things. We will always have struggles, but the sign of growth is that we overcome our struggles & grow from them! We come out stronger, & with deeper faith. If we continue dealing with the same things, we aren't growing, & what a miserable state it is to continue to suffer the same things & never prevail over them. The thing is, God is more than willing to help us learn how to grow from our trials, & even celebrate in them. That is so awesome to me. That's something I'm really trying to do, is to look for the good in everything. In trials, in heartbreak, in tragedy, in brokenness, & in broken people. There is always a way that God can work through circumstances & people to accomplish His purposes, even when humans complicate things. His work will still be completed, with us personally or without us. It's still going to happen; He's still going to win. So why not follow Him & get to actually be a part of that?

Just like I outgrew certain things as I grew older & abandoned them for better things, I hope that I can continue to surpass certain aspects of my faith. Not to let go of any part of it, but simply to see it grow & mature as the Lord leads me through different phases of my life. I hope to leave behind the things that have held me back, & overcome them. Even though different things will always stand in my way, I want to be on a path to work daily to overcome something else; to grow every day.

Life is just too short to spend it stuck in the same habits & personal struggles. We've got to step it up & whip our bodies, minds & spirits into shape so that we can truly experience the things that the Lord has for us in this life.

I changed the name of my blog because I want to live every day making changes in myself. To strive every day to grow & change into more of who God wants me to be. I will never be perfect, but I can always aim to do something better today that I did yesterday, & do it better tomorrow than I did today. I can always improve. And that's what this blog is about; my process of improving. My growing up & growing in faith. The story of my life & the things that the Lord is doing in it. So, today whoever you are reading this, I encourage you to strive alongside me today. Let's grow together.

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Thankful.

Being as it's Thanksgiving Day, I like everyone else feel compelled to really examine my life for my blessings right now. Because they are so numerous, & I am truly so very blessed. So I figured I would write them out to have a chance to really see them myself, & to share them with you.

First of all, I am so blessed to have this life. Even though many times we seem to focus on whatever is going wrong at the moment, it only takes half a second of looking around to realize how good I have it. I'm young, I have my health, & I just have a wonderful life in general. And all the glory goes to the Creator. For all of this, but for life itself especially. That alone is something we don't always realize how lucky we are to possess.

I am also tremendously blessed with my family. I have two amazing Christian parents who raised me to be anything good that I am, & two brothers who I would die for in a heartbeat. I have a wonderful place to truly call home, which is wherever they are. I've learned with moving throughout the years that it is truly not the house where you are; it's who's there with you. And even though we're all separated & living in different cities now, they are all only a phone call away from brightening up any day I have. They know me better than most, & amazingly they still love me. And that's not even counting my extended family, who are incredible as well.

I am thankful for my dog! I wanted a dog for years after we got had to get rid of our last one in Greenville & the Lord somehow got my parents to let me get one! Asher's name means "happiness", & he has truly brought so much happiness into my life! He is the first pet I've ever had that's mine alone, & even though I can't have him at college, he is such a joy to come home to. I love his energy & sweetness (when he wants to be sweet at least), & even though he's a lot of work sometimes, the good moments far outweigh the difficult ones.

I have absolutely unbelievable friends. I've been lucky to call Emily my best friend for almost 13 years now, & I am also just tremendously blessed to have her & other of my amazing Greenville friends back in my day to day life. I love having the option of running over to see them for a few minutes; it's something I couldn't do for years. And Emily & Lindsey & the other Lindsey & everyone else just encourage me & are so amazing. And then there are my Georgia friends! When I moved away from SC I never thought I could find friends to compare to my SC friends, but God sent me to some amazing people who I now can't replace with my SC friends! Funny how that works. But I have some friends who truly inspire me to be better & I am so thankful to have them beside me as we experience the most exciting times of our lives together. I could write a book on my friends but just know that they are so special to me, & one of the truest joys of my life.

I am thankful for the teachers and church leaders who have helped me get where I am. I am thankful for every card, every prayer, every conversation that encouraged me when it was hard to stand alone. Every word that helped me to know that it was worth it. That I wasn't alone. I'm thankful for the opportunities to be involved in different things that allowed me to discover my strengths, & the way that those have now helped me to figure out what I want to do with my life. There are way too many people to name, but these people are truly so close to my heart, & their efforts they put into my life will be rewarded in Heaven.

I am thankful for my school. I truly believe that I could not have picked anywhere better to go to college, & I am so excited for the opportunities I have for learning & growth at NGU. The atmosphere is amazing, & you can just see Jesus working all over the campus. I know that the Lord is going to continue to use the school & many people in it to impact my life for the better, & I am so excited.

I am thankful for a second chance at life. Without the Lord I would be nowhere. I would be trapped in sin & misery with no hope to get out. With Him, I still mess up every day. But the beautiful thing is, He is there to help me get through it, & hopefully learn from it for next time. I am realizing every day that I am nothing without Him. Without Him, I am left to my evil thoughts, impulses, & reactions. If I drift away I suffer the lack of His presence. And that inspires me to get to know Him better, daily. To truly give it all to know Him & discover what He wants for me in my life. Without Him, I'm just Jessica. With Him, I am so much more, & if I take advantage of what He has for me, I can experience all the wonders in this life that He has for me, which are all blessings in themselves as well.

I'm thankful for the sunsets, pretty flocks of birds, freedom, flowers, music, rainstorms, ocean waves, smiles from strangers, children, hugs, long phone calls, good books, a warm bed, clean water, sunshine, & the joy that comes in knowing that this is only the beginning of the beauty of life. The best is yet to come, even with how great things are now.

And my King is coming. That is the greatest part of the entire story.

Stories.

I love stories. I have always loved stories, especially life stories. Some of my favorite movies are ones that trace a complete life. For example, I love Marley & Me because it traces the family's life through Marley's. Another one I love is The Time Traveler's Wife, for the same reason. And even though that one's a little different since it skips around, it still follows them through their whole lives together. There are so many movies I could name that do this but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

So, why do I love these stories? Because you can see the big picture. At the end of our lives, or in a movie like Marley & Me, you get to start at the beginning, or somewhere near there, & you see it all. You see the good times, & the hard times, & how they grow & come out stronger together. I especially love this in movies about families or marriages. I love it when they grow & just experience the different parts of life together. You see how God is working through it all, & is there every step of the way. But in many cases in our own personal lives, we can't appreciate the defining moments of our lives until later. Sometimes you can pick out moments in movies that you know will be important, or you see it on the previews. In life, there are no previews. God is the only one who knows exactly where our lives will take us, & He certainly hasn't sent me any 2 minute video for a sneak peek lately. We have to follow Him as it progresses.

Something that is so encouraging to me, & has been especially this week in attending the Women's Conference here at school, is that even when we don't know what is ahead, God does. I have heard stories this week from amazing women who are Godly & beautiful & are just overall incredible, but they have dealt with some less than desirable circumstances. They have faced loss of spouses, & miscarriages, & financial troubles, & marriage problems, & consequences from bad decisions of their pasts. But the amazing thing is, they are older, & wiser. And they can look back at things that have happened to them & clearly see that God has used their circumstances & turned them into blessings. Sometimes we get so caught up in our problems & the pain of our struggles that we fail to see how God could use them. One of our speakers this week used the analogy of God being the holder of the puzzle box. It's hard to understand life when we can't see the big picture. It's hard to only have what's right in front of us & not be able to see how God will use it all together to make a beautiful picture of our lives. But He will.

The pieces of our life's puzzle that we have been dealt don't match up sometimes, or don't look right according to what we imagine the picture should be. But the thing is, God is the one who created the puzzle. He has written the stories of our lives. He knows our decisions before we make them, our struggles before they come, & our prayers before any of them are spoken. Even when the pieces we are given at the time don't match the rest of the puzzle, He holds the puzzle box with the final picture on it. He knows where it's going. And He is faithful to stick with us through every trial in our lives until that final picture is achieved.

The stories of our lives sometimes aren't fully understood until the end. Some things will happen that aren't explained until much later. But, we can rest assured that everything truly does happen for a reason, as cliche as that sounds. God has a plan, knows the ultimate ending, & He has already won the war for us.

It really comes down to us trusting His plan & sovereignty even when we don't know how in the world we will get through a situation. Even when we don't know what is ahead, He does. And He will provide for our every need. Because He loves us that much. Isn't that awesome?

Even while we're waiting to get a few more puzzle pieces to add to the picture, we can have peace knowing that it will be beautiful in the end. Our present pain is nothing compared to the glory that is to come. And the wonderful thing, is that many times we are the closest to God when we are having to be dependent on Him through trials. We lean on Him the most when we face what we can't possibly imagine facing on our own. And when He proves Himself faithful through these times, as He always does, we know without a shadow of a doubt that He will be faithful to us in the little things as well. He cares about the details, & He cares about our lives because they all fit together into His ultimate story of the world. The story of His creation.

Our pictures are only a part of the whole completed picture that will one day be complete. Every moment that passes is going to come together to create something beautiful, & will certainly one day be a part of an incredible masterpiece made by an amazing Artist.