Wasted words.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

I don't know about you, but sometimes I forget to think before I start talking. Women have been said to say 20,000 to 30,000 words a DAY. This isn't hard for me to believe, being as if no one's there to talk to, I talk to myself, let's just be honest here. And don't judge me because chances are, you do it too. Or your mother does. And are you going to judge your mother for it? No. So we're all in this together.

The thing is, I really like to talk. I'm a relationship person - not in the man-woman sense, (as in, that isn't my main focus as a self-proclaimed relationship person - have to make that clear) but I like to build strong relationships with other people. And in doing that, lots of talking is typically done. I like to talk a lot to my best friends, and that helps us to get to know each other better. I like to be understood. And when I don't have anyone to talk to, I come here & write. And sometimes I write a whole lot (like on Thursday's entry). And I got to thinking about why I do that. And it's because I want to be understood. I hate trying to tell someone about something, whether a story or whatever, and only being able to get halfway into it, with no resolution for why I felt a certain way or why I thought something. I like to be able to explain myself, and for those around me to understand me. So in my case, I tend to talk a lot to try and get it all out there. That really isn't all bad, I don't think, because we need to understand each other, and take the time to do that. But when so many words are being said, we need to be careful of what they are.

College is very interesting in many various ways, and one of those is in how different people communicate with one another. It's fascinating to sit in the caf & just watch people talk to each other. There are so many motivations for speaking. Some have motivations of impressing a guy or girl. They say things just to get that person's attention. I can remember when I was younger being at church and just talking to a friend about absolutely nothing when a boy I liked was nearby, just so he would notice me. We do crazy things in situations like that. But those words aren't accomplishing anything.
Other people talk a lot to show how smart they are. If I know a lot about a subject, I'll tend to talk more when that subject comes up in conversation.
There are many motivations such as these that drive people to get their thoughts out, but something that runs common is that these motivations are all about us. They are to get people to notice us, to think we're smart, whatever. And the point of life is not for others to admire us and think we know what we're talking about. It's to glorify God, and spread His story & what HE had to say to others. So how should that impact us daily?

Don't waste your words. In your daily interactions, think about the other person. Rather than wasting words talking about temporary things like sports or television programs, try and talk about what God is doing in their lives. And if they don't already have that relationship, tell them what God is doing in your life. One of the best ways to witness to people is through personal testimony; they can't dispute what God has personally done in your life, whether they believe it or not. Use that, share with them.
Encourage others. One of my favorite things about my day is when someone comes into the bookstore, and takes time to ask me how my day is going. Take notice of those around you, and use a few of the thousands of words you'll speak for that day to try and let them know that they're important too.
Take time to listen too. Rather than just trying to get what you have to say across the sound waves, take the time to ask how people are doing, and really listen rather than thinking about what you're going to say next. Listen, offer encouragement, and just make yourself available to be there for others. A lot of people really need that.
Realize that sometimes you don't need to say anything at all. Something that God has been showing me lately is that I don't always have to have something to say. There are situations where my self percieved wisdom is not needed, and there is no way I can fix it. But I can be there to listen, and simply walk alongside the person that needs it. We need to be able to recognize when words aren't needed, and when to simply keep our mouths closed and let our presence and support be enough - God can say just as much through us simply through those actions as He can when we have a lot to say on a matter.

We have so many opportunities to share the love of Christ that are wasted because we simply aren't paying attention, or we just want to talk about frivolous, uneternal things. Let's change that today. Take time to focus on those around you, and the smallest difference you can make by making yourself available and showing them that you care today.

Don't waste your words, and miss out on conversations that could change another's day, or even life.

Breaking free from fear.

Fear has a way of really holding you back.

So many of us are so afraid to step out because we don't know what's on the other side. So many times I've gotten comfortable in a certain place or routine that even if I'm not happy, I won't change anything because that's what I know. We try to hard to protect ourself from what we can't see coming that we might instead be preventing ourselves from incredible happiness that we can find in taking risks and chances in our lives.

There is certainly a lot of pain in losing things. We lose friends sometimes to moving or arguments, we lose family members and friends to death, we lose comfort when changing location...life definitely bears a lot of loss. But the whole thing is, we have to recognize what we have.

In my life, I have no guaranteed constants. I could go to sleep tonight and not wake up in the morning. I could leave this campus this weekend and not make it back. I could see my family one day and not have them at all the next. We don't know what each day holds. The only certain thing about life and what we know about it, is that nothing is certain. We don't hold the future. We can't live our lives being afraid though, and holding back to avoid those types of things though, because then we miss out on the whole point.

Even though I have no certainty about events to come, and even though I personally can't control any of the events around me, I do know the One who is in control. From the very first moment of my life, He knew every detail about single moment that would follow. And when I trusted Him with my life, I trusted Him to control those details.

I have freedom from fear of death - I know where I'm going. I have freedom from fear of losing loved ones - I know I'll see them again, if they're saved (and if they're not then I know what I need to do). I have freedom from fear of the unknown, since I have a relationship with the One who knows everything.

Even with trusting in God, I definitely identify with people who struggle with these fears, because at times I do too. Sometimes I get worried about situations that I don't know how they'll work out in the end. For a long time, I've had a fear of spending all this time waiting to find someone to spend my life with, and possibly losing them. Things happen. Death happens. But if I let that control me and hold me back, I could miss out on so much trying to save myself from experiencing that loss - I would also potentially miss out on a lot of love. This is true in a lot of situations.

God has purposes in everything He does. He orchestrates the events of our world for one reason: to spread His glory and fame. His name is greater than any other, and the purpose of our lives is to share His glory with others in the world, that they might come to praise Him too. Rather than focusing on our fear of how circumstances could effect us personally, we need to purposefully set our eyes on the ultimate point of our lives: to share His name, His love, and the freedom that comes in knowing Him.

I've had many people come into my life that haven't been able to stick around. I'm 19 years old and I've lost my three grandparents (my mom's dad died before my parents were married so I never knew him). I've lost friends in different situations of sickness or simply from moving away. But, for me to wish I hadn't known them simply because I had to lose them wouldn't make sense. Without knowing them, I would have missed out on the blessings that came from knowing them. I would have lost out on memories. I would have lost out on the things that God taught me through all of those different situations.

The thing we have to focus on is that God doesn't let us go through challenges because He wants us to hurt. The question of why bad things happen is one that will be forever asked as long as this earth is spinning. The answer though is simple: God wants us, all of us, to worship Him alone. And the difficult times in our lives, more than any other, can draw us to Him, since He's the one in control. He doesn't CAUSE bad things to happen, but He ALLOWS them to happen if they will fit His ultimate purpose, which is to draw glory to Himself. However, this can be hard to accept for us in our human state. At times the pain we experience doesn't seem worth it.

But my sweet friends, it IS worth it. He IS worth it. The pain we face now is nothing compared to the joy that comes from knowing Him, trusting in Him to carry us through the hard times, and growing closer to Him. Even though it's scary to lose things and people we love, by trusting Him to be our Healer, we get to experience some of the best aspects of who He is. Because He is always there to pick us up, and help us go on.

What we have to do is focus on Him. If we allow ourselves to focus on the fear of loss and change, we will miss out on the growth that comes when we get through it. We will miss out on the things He wants to teach us, and aspects of Himself that He can show us through those times. He can use ALL things in our lives, good and bad, to help us get to discover more of His heart.

I know that the loss I've faced in the past, and surely the trials that will come later on in my life is difficult to bear. But I also know that the pain that I feel shows how blessed I am for this simple reason: I have something to miss. I miss my grandparents and friends that have passed on because of the relationship I had with them. I miss my brothers who live far away from me because I love them and the things that God shows me through our relationships. I miss things about the past because they were good. This can help us see how great our blessings are, which all come from the God who loved us first, and even through this loss, we have more reasons to praise Him! Isn't it amazing how that works??

Some people are afraid to give their lives to Christ, because they won't be the ones running the show anymore. They don't want to risk trusting Him and giving control over. But I know from personal experience that when I trust Him with my circumstances, good and bad, He always comes through and helps put things together - whether putting things together for the first time or putting pieces back together - better than I could have ever done. Letting Him have control is worth it because when we don't know what is coming, or how to shoulder our challenges, He can handle it. If you haven't yet today, trust Him. Trust Him with your fears and your heart and your life, and see where He takes you, because I promise you it will be farther than you ever dreamed if you make Him the focus of your life. He conquered the grave...what is it that we think He can't handle?!

I don't deserve Jesus but I have Him. I don't deserve this life that I get to live but, for now at least, I get to live it. I get to enjoy my family, my incredible friends, and His creation every day. But even if I had none of those things or people, He would still be enough, because He is the epitome of blessings. Getting to know His heart and be a part of His plan is all by itself, worth living for. No matter what happens in my life, God will still be good. He is neverchanging, He is constant, and because of this His goodness does not end, even when my circumstances aren't good.
So today if you're struggling, allow Him to pick you up. Allow Him to lead you through it. If you're not down right now, go ahead and draw close to God so that when you fall, because you will, He will be right there to hold you up through it all. And most of all, in all circumstances, give thanks for the blessings; for the time that we do have together as friends, for the love we get from family, for the joy in fleeting moments, because we don't know when it might be gone...but I do know Who has been and will be in control forever, and today, I'm trusting Him with whatever else comes my way.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

My best friend.

Sometimes there are people who come into your life, & you have no idea the impact that they'll make on you.

One of those people in my life is someone that I met when I was 6 years old. She happened to live across the road from me when we moved to Taylors, SC. We met on the front steps of my dad's church, right before VBS one night in the summer. I still remember when I found out she lived across the street. That was the moment that started it all.

Time passed, as did snow days, summer days, & birthdays. We did ridiculous things together, & made incredible memories. We didn't go to school together, but I loved getting to hang out with her whenever we had a chance.

In 6th grade, she moved to my school. For the first time, we got to see each other way more than usual, & it was awesome. We had classes together. My family was going through a lot, & she was someone who I could always talk to about it. She knew my family so well since she had spent so much time with us. It was just special. Around Christmas of 6th grade, I found out that we were moving again. At first it was supposed to be Spartanburg, but that eventually turned into Georgia when my grandmother got sick & we knew she was going to go home soon. Through all of that, I was scared. Scared to move again, scared to lose my friends, scared to leave South Carolina. So I would call her about it. We would talk about it, & it just helped. Then we moved.

Over summer, with all the changes in my family along with moving to a different state, we lost touch for a little bit. Then, the night before she started another year of school, I called her to tell her good luck & try to catch up. That was when the calls started back. I was experiencing so many new things, & she was this person who had always been around. She knew me. Everything that I was facing, I told her about, & she told me about everything happening there so I still felt connected. She knew all the names of my new friends, & just everything about everything really. And she was such an encouragement. We would talk for hours - on the phone, on the internet, through email... We wrote letters, too. She was the one person that I was really able to keep in touch with, & the one person that I absolutely needed to keep in touch with. And we did it. Somehow, we did it.

Sometimes I'd get to go back & visit, & it was just like I had never left. We would talk about everything & talk about how different it would be if I still lived across the street. We would talk about how maybe someday I could come back. We would make plans, & just have fun being together. Then I would go back home, & we'd call each other & it was still like we were together, even with over 100 miles between us.

High school passed, & was coming to an end. I was looking for a college...we talked all the time about how cool it would be to go to college together, & happened to look at some of the same ones. I never really thought it could happen though, it was just one of those "wouldn't that be awesome" things, just like the idea of moving back had always been. As time went by, & I couldn't find one, I decided one night to check out NGU, where she was already planning to go. And from that night, things just fell into place. And it happened. I moved back. I got my best friend back in my day to day life. I got to come back to Greenville.

In the less than 20 years that I've been alive, I've had a lot of changes happen. I've moved several times to different places with my dad's job, I've had things change in my family, & there is always something going on. But the awesome thing is, she's always been there, in one way or another. Whether it's been in person or on the other end of the phone, we've been through it together. And now as we face dreams and plans for the rest of our lives, it's the one friendship that I know won't be messed up when we're not seeing each other all the time anymore, if those days come again. God's plans for our lives are bound to take us many, many places, & possibly even completely different directions. But thankfully, the Lord gave me someone who is traveling right alongside me, even though not always physically. He gave me a best friend who somehow occasionally finds humor in my jokes, understands the way my brain works, & is just there to listen. Our relationship has taught me so much about loyalty, & being a real friend. And I could not be more thankful for her being in my life every moment we get to spend together, especially because I've experienced so much time away from her.

I used to wish I had a best friend that I got to be with all the time like other people at school since mine was 3 hours away. And that wish came true, & I do get to have that, at least for now. But even if I lose that part of our friendship, I know that God brought us together, years and years ago now, so that we could be there for each other through all of this that we have faced, & all that we will face in the future. No matter what He brings us to, I know that God is good, & He has proven that so many times, especially through this friendship that He has given us. And no matter what, I know one person I can always count on.

So today, Emily Greer, I celebrate the friendship that we have. I treasure the memories we have made, the ones we're making, & the ones that are still in the future. And I can't wait to experience many, many more days with you as we pursue the calls that God has placed on our lives. Happy birthday! I love you!