Call it a girl thing. But sometimes you just have those days where you're constantly on the edge of breaking down in tears about twice every five minutes. For almost no reason. I'm pretty sure that if someone came up to me and hugged me today I would have lost it.
And it's not even that I'm necessarily sad. It's more of a fullness. An emotional fullness. Something like being overwhelmed. Not just with the bad, but with the good.
Today I am just reminded that God is faithful. I was sitting in math class and for some reason remembered way back to when my dad would come to eat lunch with me when I was in elementary school about 10 minutes away from where I now attend college. He would bring whatever I wanted from some restaurant - usually Subway, because I love sandwiches as much as any man - and we would go and sit across the road at a concrete table and have lunch together. This memory came to me in the middle of my statistics class. And as I'm sitting there trying not to burst into tears from the preciousness of it all, I was just overwhelmed with how blessed I am to have my father. Not everyone has one that loves them like my father loves me. And sometimes I forget it.
This past Sunday was Grandparents' Day, which left me as a mess on Sunday too. My dad's mom has been gone 8 years, my dad's dad almost 6 years, and my mom's mom three years this week. I'm not exaggerating when I say I miss them every minute of every day. I was so blessed to have them for the years that I did, and I only wish I had had more time.
On top of all these things, I am homesick and missing my parents. And my little dog. Which is not unusual, but adds another layer.
And the top layer on this extremely emotional mess of a cake is complete and utter thankfulness for the friends that God has brought to me recently. I am so incredibly blessed, and I do not take that for granted after the times when I have felt alone here at school.
God is just so good, friends. He is so good. I can't get over it. I am writing this in my weepy state, and listening to music proclaming the truth about the God that I am blessed to call mine. He has brought me this far, which is amazing on its own, and yet He continues to carry me further. Step by step. I have known a lot about God from the time I was little, thanks to a Christian upbringing. But the further I continue on this road, I just realize in my heart more than my head, how good and real and close to me He really is. And all I can do is cry. And He's here for that part, too. And day by day, I will choose to love Him for that, and everything else that He is, because He is everything.
