Family.

Yesterday at our house we had a family reunion. This is not something we have ever done regularly, in fact the only time we really get to see our extended family is weddings & funerals, which is just sad. So this year they finally decided to make it happen & do one, & we had it at our house. Let me just tell you. I have an awesome family.

My dad's side of the family basically all lived super close to each other growing up in Atlanta & they were all really close. My grandmother had quite a few siblings & they were all really close so then their families were too, which is awesome. Now, my grandmama & all her siblings are gone. We have a few wives of her brothers left with us, who are the most amazing great aunts ever, but sadly most of that incredible generation is dying out & taking the party to heaven. Whenever I talk to other people about their families & hear about various struggles & such that exists in their family circles, I am SO THANKFUL for my family. Not only do I have truly amazing parents who I completely adore & love, but they both had amazing parents as well. my grandparents were so incredible. And I know that a lot of people would say that their grandparents are the best, but honestly, I can't believe how lucky I was for God to place me in the family that He did. I have been loved my whole life & that has allowed me to grow into who I am today to be able to go out into the world & share that love with other people that my family has fed into me for my entire life, & most importantly, that stems into them from the love that comes from the most Loving One of all, Jesus.

As I sit here, leaving for college in three weeks, constantly wondering where God is going to take my life, I really just pray that God will use me as He did my grandparents. My mom's dad died before my parents got married so I never got to meet him, but I had three of the most amazing people as my grandparents.

My Papa & Grandmama (my dad's parents) were two of the most precious people I have ever, & will ever, come across. Even though I only knew them when they were much older, I could listen to stories about them & look at pictures all day long. They committed their lives to following Jesus, & they truly shared that love with everyone. I loved it when I moved to Georgia & started going to the church my grandparents had attended for so many years. Papa was still with us then after we moved in after Grandmama died, & it was just such a blessing to get to know so many people that had been touched throughout the years by my Grandmama. She used to buy packs of Juicy Fruit gum in bulk and hand it out to all the kids at church. And she could cook like nobody's business. She and my Papa had a marriage that many have said they try to model their own after, which is one of the highest compliments I could possibly imagine. I remember sitting in Grandmama's hospital room two weeks before she went to be with Jesus. It was the last time I got to see her & she was still able to talk & we were all just sitting around in her hospital room. My Papa was a huge jokester & always joking around & messing with you trying to get you to laugh. And that man LOVED dessert. A piece of lemon pie, Papa's favorite, had come on Grandmama's meal tray, & she had let him have it. They were talking about this to us & we were all laughing about it, & then they looked at each other. That look that I saw was the most loving, adoring look I've ever witnessed in my life, & one that has never left me. Not only did they have an amazing love for each other, but they loved me. Whenever we came to visit they just wanted to hear all about what was going on in our lives. As kids, we got bored a whole lot easier & weren't very interested in sitting around & talking for a few hours after we ate. But I will never forget how very interested they were in our lives. I could go on for hours about them. But I had another wonderful Grandmama, too.

My mom's mom, also called Grandmama, was one of my favorite people on this entire planet until her death last September. The whole time I knew her, my mom's dad was already gone but there was nothing lacking on that side of the family. My Grandmama was always cooking. She taught me how to make many of the things I love to cook. I got a love for cooking on both sides. I used to go stay at her house every summer by myself for at least a week, many times two. We had the most fun going to Waffle House for breakfast, going swimming in her neighborhood pool, going to pet stores to see puppies, & just talking. I loved her laugh, & she laughed a lot. Even though she was without my grandfather, she still stayed so active in her community & in the lives of so many people. I will never forget the procession line at her funeral on the way to the burial. The cars went as far back as you could see, on a very long straight road. She loved SO much, & so many people loved her. I loved her, & I know she loved me, & I was so very lucky to have her for the almost 18 years that I did.

A lot of times I feel extremely jealous of my friends. Lots of friends have families that live nearby. They get to see them often, they go on vacations together, they have all their grandparents & many times great grandparents too. But when I feel like that, I just try & remember how extremely blessed I was to have these wonderful people in my life. To have these incredible examples of love for others & loving Jesus; hearts that trusted God & prayed often; hearts that suffered many many trials but remained faithful & steadfast in their walks with God. People that loved me so very much. People that raised their children, my parents, to love me & encourage me, & to love Jesus & follow Him all the days of their lives, & who have instilled that love & truth into me.

Yesterday getting to see all my dad's cousins & family, & hearing their laughter sing throughout the entire house, & enjoying stories of years gone by now, I felt so completely blessed simply to know these people, but especially to be related to them. God is so good.

How great the Father's love is for us. How great His love is for me, that He would not only send His son to die on the cross for me, but that He would bless me so richly as well. That he has created so many wonderful things in this world to draw me to Himself, because He loves me. Without His love, we couldn't know love ourselves, & I am so thankful to know that love, & to have opportunities that I know are coming in the years ahead, to share that love with others that He loves also.

Whoever reads this, thank you. Even if no one does, I'm glad I wrote this because it's always good to sit & be reminded of how good God is, & how richly blessed I am. Thank God for family. Now, get off the computer & go spend some time with yours. :)

Taylor Swift.

This week I took a four day trip to visit a wonderful friend of mine in Nashville, TN. It was my first time to that part of Tennessee at least, & let me tell you, it is BEAUTIFUL over there. The atmosphere is amazing, the scenery is beautiful, both natural & manmade. All around a wonderful place. It was a really great trip, full of LOTS of singing in the car (5 hours of driving alone will do that), lots of riding in the car while we're on the car subject, & lots of laughing with Kristen! Since I was going to Nashville, I of course had hopes of seeing a few famous people, mainly one. And the people that know me the best of anyone know that that person is Taylor Swift. I just think she's just about the greatest person out there right now, & I love her personality, her style, her songs, & just everything about her. I went to her concert in Greenville, SC in September & it was incredible, & we came THIS close to meeting her but didn't get to. So I was disappointed but really hoped that I would get to later. So then since I was going to Nashville I hoped I would get to see her since she's not touring right now. But I knew that the chances were very small & I had pretty much put it out of my mind. So Tuesday, Kristen & I went to meet a lovely friend of hers & her sister for lunch & then went to downtown Franklin to this cute little frozen yogurt place called Sweet CeCe's. Being the Taylor Swift fanatic that I am, I actually recognized it from pictures she had put up in her blog before & so I was already just happy to be somewhere I knew she liked to go to. We were all just sitting there enjoying our delicious frozen yogurt & chatting when Kristen says "There's Taylor Swift." I immediately looked up & goodness gracious would you believe it, there she was. All I remember is that my mouth dropped open, & my hands immediately started shaking! I was that excited. I sat there & stared at her as she spoke to the lady behind her in line who was telling her how much she enjoyed her music, & she continued through the line. She was unfortunately in a hurry & was being rushed through by her bodyguard, probably to get back for her live webcast that was happening that day to talk about her new album, so I didn't get a chance to get a picture with her or talk to her. Either way, it was such a cool experience to see her that close while I was in Nashville & I've been excited since then, & today's Saturday now. :)

I normally don't do blogs that are so memory-based, how my day was type things. But I needed to do this one so I could remember it, & look back & know that it actually happened. :) So, for me & no one else, yes, I really did see Taylor Swift, & it was awesome. & next time I see her, I'll have a picture of us together & not just one of her back. :)

Birds & other beautiful things.

The people that are closest to me know that I have a thing with birds. I love them. They're so beautiful to me. That's one of my favorite things about the beach, is the birds that fly around & hang out on the beach, I always come back with tons of pictures of them. My friends have made fun of me before because I'm always pointing out birds that I think are pretty, but really, I just love them. I love how many different types of birds there are, & their different colors, & how much they vary from species to species. It's one of those things about God's creation that just amazes me. And they're such a reminder of God's provision. In Matthew 6:26 it says "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, & yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they?" The Lord cares enough for the birds that He created & He provides for them unfailingly. And He loved me enough to send His son to die on the cross, so of course He'll provide for me too. I just love that reminder.
But anyway, back to where I was going with this, I was sitting on my front porch watching my dog play, & a beautiful cardinal flew over to a tree in our front yard. I got to admire it for a few minutes until Asher spotted it & decided to chase it away. But I just loved getting to see it, even for just a short minute, because beautiful things like that just remind me of how amazing God is. He created this whole earth for us to enjoy. Even though we've messed it up in many, many, many ways, He still loves us & allows us to enjoy His creation, & I love how it just draws my mind back to how amazing God is when I see things like that. Especially when you focus on looking for ways to spot God throughout your day, the world becomes so much more beautiful. Every beautiful part of this earth is just a reminder of God's love for us & His grace, that even though I mess up daily, & some days I feel like I can't do anything right, God still loves me. And He reminds me of that in countless ways, whether it's encouragement from a friend, a beautiful sunset, sweet words from a little kid, or even a pretty bird.

We serve an amazing God, & I'm so thankful to be His.

Life.

The summer after high school is proving to be an eventful one. Between mini road trips to see friends, family things like weddings & funerals, hanging out at home being glad that I don't have any homework to do, working when I get the chance & hanging out with friends, I've been always doing something. Or not doing anything & letting that count as something just because it can.

Everyone you talk to wants to know a few simple questions. Where you're going to school. What you're going to study. When you leave. My mom wants to know what else I need. What clothes we need to buy. There's a lot of planning happening since I leave in less than 6 weeks. And besides that sort of planning, there's tons of planning for what I'm going to do once I get there. My schedule is set, major undeclared since I have no idea what I'm going to study just yet. But I still think every day about what I'm going to do, what the future will hold. My whole school year last year was planning oriented. Planning where to go to school, how to pay for it, what scholarships to apply for & when they were due, when senior events were, paying for aforementioned senior events...the list goes on. And now. Graduation is over. High school is done. Check, check. Now it's on to the next thing.

I feel like all I do lately is check off one thing & immediately look forward to the next. That's why life seems to be speeding up because at this age we're all so focused on what's coming. It's a series of countdowns. Starting with the countdown to high school, then to your license, then to prom, then to graduation, all with plenty of breaks and summer vacations mixed in there too. Then it's a countdown to college, & everything that comes after. AKA the rest of your life. Not to be dramatic of course. Yeah, right.

As a planning personality, I make lists alllll day long. Not that everything gets accomplished but I make lists and I plan what to wear & where I'm going & who I'll see. I try to anticipate things so I can plan for them. And now I'm left with feeling that so many things were planned for, looked forward to & are over & done with now. Everything that had to be endured to make it to independence & college are checked off the list. And now? Now comes the waiting. Waiting to move in, waiting to meet my roommate, waiting to start this new chapter in my life. I feel like the possibilities of where God could take my life right now are seriously endless. And I'm just waiting on things to happen, for "real life" to start. And I feel like this every day, like I'm just filling the time until actual things start happening.

Then I realized it. Yes, this is a new chapter. Yes, new & exciting days are coming where things will happen that have never happened before in my life & regular events will have new spins on them in my newfound independence.

But I've already had 18 1/2 years on this planet. I couldn't have gotten to this point, to be ready to go out on my own ready for whatever life will bring without everything before. Every person that I've encountered has affected me & touched me in one way or another. Whether it was people I didn't like, people I loved, or my precious grandparents whose lives are now only left as a memory, everything & everyone has made a difference. Trials, deaths, moving, storms, tears; it's all worked together to prepare me for things to come.

Earlier, as I sat out on my deck looking up at the most incredible display of stars I've seen, I thought "This is it. This IS life." There is no skipping the boring parts to get to the good days. There isn't any editing out the hard stuff. Together it all creates a beautiful picture. And I only hope that God is far from finished creating my days. Good & bad & everything in between, I want to live in a way that takes it all together & appreciates the value of every second. Every heartbeat. Every smile. Because we can't just sit around & wait for life to start or we'll miss the life we're living. Carpe diem.