Growing.

When I was little, faith was simple. I grew up in a Christian home, as a the daughter of a preacher no less. I was saved at a young age, & I never had a day where I didn't know the name of Jesus. I've just kind of always believed. But it was much simpler back then. Now that I'm older I'm starting to see how that faith plays out on a much deeper level. I'm seeing how His love is truly expressed in so many areas of life. I'm able to recognize & connect things in Scripture that I couldn't before. I'm growing.

Looking back on when I was younger makes me realize how much I've changed since then. I've grown up & made a lot of new goals. Goals to truly improve myself. To improve my walk with Christ. To become a better version of myself, every single day on this earth. The way I see it, every day puts us either closer to where we want to be, or puts us one step backwards. There isn't much of a medium. Either we're growing or we're drifting. Because the longer we're not growing, that time as a whole would definitely count as drifting. So to me it just makes sense to aim to grow.

It takes realizing that the things that hold us back every day, whether it be our attitude, our fears, our prejudice, our selfishness; these things need to be left behind. If we continue to carry them with us day to day, struggling against them all the while, they continue to hold us back. It's time to overcome these & leave them behind. Until we get tired enough of the same old struggles that we allow ourselves to fall into time & time again, they will continue to hold us back. But the thing is, as much as we want to hold on to whatever it may be, the Lord has so much more for us once we let go.

I don't want to go throughout my life dealing with the same things. We will always have struggles, but the sign of growth is that we overcome our struggles & grow from them! We come out stronger, & with deeper faith. If we continue dealing with the same things, we aren't growing, & what a miserable state it is to continue to suffer the same things & never prevail over them. The thing is, God is more than willing to help us learn how to grow from our trials, & even celebrate in them. That is so awesome to me. That's something I'm really trying to do, is to look for the good in everything. In trials, in heartbreak, in tragedy, in brokenness, & in broken people. There is always a way that God can work through circumstances & people to accomplish His purposes, even when humans complicate things. His work will still be completed, with us personally or without us. It's still going to happen; He's still going to win. So why not follow Him & get to actually be a part of that?

Just like I outgrew certain things as I grew older & abandoned them for better things, I hope that I can continue to surpass certain aspects of my faith. Not to let go of any part of it, but simply to see it grow & mature as the Lord leads me through different phases of my life. I hope to leave behind the things that have held me back, & overcome them. Even though different things will always stand in my way, I want to be on a path to work daily to overcome something else; to grow every day.

Life is just too short to spend it stuck in the same habits & personal struggles. We've got to step it up & whip our bodies, minds & spirits into shape so that we can truly experience the things that the Lord has for us in this life.

I changed the name of my blog because I want to live every day making changes in myself. To strive every day to grow & change into more of who God wants me to be. I will never be perfect, but I can always aim to do something better today that I did yesterday, & do it better tomorrow than I did today. I can always improve. And that's what this blog is about; my process of improving. My growing up & growing in faith. The story of my life & the things that the Lord is doing in it. So, today whoever you are reading this, I encourage you to strive alongside me today. Let's grow together.

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Thankful.

Being as it's Thanksgiving Day, I like everyone else feel compelled to really examine my life for my blessings right now. Because they are so numerous, & I am truly so very blessed. So I figured I would write them out to have a chance to really see them myself, & to share them with you.

First of all, I am so blessed to have this life. Even though many times we seem to focus on whatever is going wrong at the moment, it only takes half a second of looking around to realize how good I have it. I'm young, I have my health, & I just have a wonderful life in general. And all the glory goes to the Creator. For all of this, but for life itself especially. That alone is something we don't always realize how lucky we are to possess.

I am also tremendously blessed with my family. I have two amazing Christian parents who raised me to be anything good that I am, & two brothers who I would die for in a heartbeat. I have a wonderful place to truly call home, which is wherever they are. I've learned with moving throughout the years that it is truly not the house where you are; it's who's there with you. And even though we're all separated & living in different cities now, they are all only a phone call away from brightening up any day I have. They know me better than most, & amazingly they still love me. And that's not even counting my extended family, who are incredible as well.

I am thankful for my dog! I wanted a dog for years after we got had to get rid of our last one in Greenville & the Lord somehow got my parents to let me get one! Asher's name means "happiness", & he has truly brought so much happiness into my life! He is the first pet I've ever had that's mine alone, & even though I can't have him at college, he is such a joy to come home to. I love his energy & sweetness (when he wants to be sweet at least), & even though he's a lot of work sometimes, the good moments far outweigh the difficult ones.

I have absolutely unbelievable friends. I've been lucky to call Emily my best friend for almost 13 years now, & I am also just tremendously blessed to have her & other of my amazing Greenville friends back in my day to day life. I love having the option of running over to see them for a few minutes; it's something I couldn't do for years. And Emily & Lindsey & the other Lindsey & everyone else just encourage me & are so amazing. And then there are my Georgia friends! When I moved away from SC I never thought I could find friends to compare to my SC friends, but God sent me to some amazing people who I now can't replace with my SC friends! Funny how that works. But I have some friends who truly inspire me to be better & I am so thankful to have them beside me as we experience the most exciting times of our lives together. I could write a book on my friends but just know that they are so special to me, & one of the truest joys of my life.

I am thankful for the teachers and church leaders who have helped me get where I am. I am thankful for every card, every prayer, every conversation that encouraged me when it was hard to stand alone. Every word that helped me to know that it was worth it. That I wasn't alone. I'm thankful for the opportunities to be involved in different things that allowed me to discover my strengths, & the way that those have now helped me to figure out what I want to do with my life. There are way too many people to name, but these people are truly so close to my heart, & their efforts they put into my life will be rewarded in Heaven.

I am thankful for my school. I truly believe that I could not have picked anywhere better to go to college, & I am so excited for the opportunities I have for learning & growth at NGU. The atmosphere is amazing, & you can just see Jesus working all over the campus. I know that the Lord is going to continue to use the school & many people in it to impact my life for the better, & I am so excited.

I am thankful for a second chance at life. Without the Lord I would be nowhere. I would be trapped in sin & misery with no hope to get out. With Him, I still mess up every day. But the beautiful thing is, He is there to help me get through it, & hopefully learn from it for next time. I am realizing every day that I am nothing without Him. Without Him, I am left to my evil thoughts, impulses, & reactions. If I drift away I suffer the lack of His presence. And that inspires me to get to know Him better, daily. To truly give it all to know Him & discover what He wants for me in my life. Without Him, I'm just Jessica. With Him, I am so much more, & if I take advantage of what He has for me, I can experience all the wonders in this life that He has for me, which are all blessings in themselves as well.

I'm thankful for the sunsets, pretty flocks of birds, freedom, flowers, music, rainstorms, ocean waves, smiles from strangers, children, hugs, long phone calls, good books, a warm bed, clean water, sunshine, & the joy that comes in knowing that this is only the beginning of the beauty of life. The best is yet to come, even with how great things are now.

And my King is coming. That is the greatest part of the entire story.

Stories.

I love stories. I have always loved stories, especially life stories. Some of my favorite movies are ones that trace a complete life. For example, I love Marley & Me because it traces the family's life through Marley's. Another one I love is The Time Traveler's Wife, for the same reason. And even though that one's a little different since it skips around, it still follows them through their whole lives together. There are so many movies I could name that do this but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

So, why do I love these stories? Because you can see the big picture. At the end of our lives, or in a movie like Marley & Me, you get to start at the beginning, or somewhere near there, & you see it all. You see the good times, & the hard times, & how they grow & come out stronger together. I especially love this in movies about families or marriages. I love it when they grow & just experience the different parts of life together. You see how God is working through it all, & is there every step of the way. But in many cases in our own personal lives, we can't appreciate the defining moments of our lives until later. Sometimes you can pick out moments in movies that you know will be important, or you see it on the previews. In life, there are no previews. God is the only one who knows exactly where our lives will take us, & He certainly hasn't sent me any 2 minute video for a sneak peek lately. We have to follow Him as it progresses.

Something that is so encouraging to me, & has been especially this week in attending the Women's Conference here at school, is that even when we don't know what is ahead, God does. I have heard stories this week from amazing women who are Godly & beautiful & are just overall incredible, but they have dealt with some less than desirable circumstances. They have faced loss of spouses, & miscarriages, & financial troubles, & marriage problems, & consequences from bad decisions of their pasts. But the amazing thing is, they are older, & wiser. And they can look back at things that have happened to them & clearly see that God has used their circumstances & turned them into blessings. Sometimes we get so caught up in our problems & the pain of our struggles that we fail to see how God could use them. One of our speakers this week used the analogy of God being the holder of the puzzle box. It's hard to understand life when we can't see the big picture. It's hard to only have what's right in front of us & not be able to see how God will use it all together to make a beautiful picture of our lives. But He will.

The pieces of our life's puzzle that we have been dealt don't match up sometimes, or don't look right according to what we imagine the picture should be. But the thing is, God is the one who created the puzzle. He has written the stories of our lives. He knows our decisions before we make them, our struggles before they come, & our prayers before any of them are spoken. Even when the pieces we are given at the time don't match the rest of the puzzle, He holds the puzzle box with the final picture on it. He knows where it's going. And He is faithful to stick with us through every trial in our lives until that final picture is achieved.

The stories of our lives sometimes aren't fully understood until the end. Some things will happen that aren't explained until much later. But, we can rest assured that everything truly does happen for a reason, as cliche as that sounds. God has a plan, knows the ultimate ending, & He has already won the war for us.

It really comes down to us trusting His plan & sovereignty even when we don't know how in the world we will get through a situation. Even when we don't know what is ahead, He does. And He will provide for our every need. Because He loves us that much. Isn't that awesome?

Even while we're waiting to get a few more puzzle pieces to add to the picture, we can have peace knowing that it will be beautiful in the end. Our present pain is nothing compared to the glory that is to come. And the wonderful thing, is that many times we are the closest to God when we are having to be dependent on Him through trials. We lean on Him the most when we face what we can't possibly imagine facing on our own. And when He proves Himself faithful through these times, as He always does, we know without a shadow of a doubt that He will be faithful to us in the little things as well. He cares about the details, & He cares about our lives because they all fit together into His ultimate story of the world. The story of His creation.

Our pictures are only a part of the whole completed picture that will one day be complete. Every moment that passes is going to come together to create something beautiful, & will certainly one day be a part of an incredible masterpiece made by an amazing Artist.

Attention.

Attention, everyone. I have recently been realizing that attention is the issue here.

There are people who don't get enough attention & crave it. There are those who won't give it, whether to protect themselves from getting it back & their flaws being realized or simply to pay back not getting it themselves. And there is a God who so desperately wants yours, & tries to tell you 1000 times a day.

Girls are born with a need for attention & acknowledgement. We need to know, & HEAR, that we are loved & valued. Little girls need this assurance, & older girls need this reminder. But in many heartbreaking cases, we fail to receive this. Our fathers are human & sometimes forget, or don't realize how imporatnt it is. In other cases, fathers just aren't around. I am so immensely blessed in my life to have a wonderful daddy who has always given me ample attention & has always affirmed me, but this isn't the case with everyone. And it is a great, great need. So then, girls start looking for ways to fill this void. They use their bodies, their words, their actions to try & fill the need to know they're valued, to have someone's attention. We've all seen it. A girl who is obnoxiously loud, all over all the boys, practically BEGGING for attention. What they fail to realize is that they've been on HIS mind since the beginning of EVERYTHING, & they hold His attention, even if they don't get a second glance here on earth. Because a "gentle & quiet spirit" is of "great worth in God's sight". We don't have to fight for it anymore.

Boys also share this need, but in a different way. Men need to be respected; valued; to feel like they're important. Some get attention & build such a huge ego that their desire for attention is insatiable. Others can't seem to get any & spend all their time & efforts trying to impress girls, their fathers, or their friends. They try endlessly to prove that they're man enough to deserve the attention, & in many times they end up commanding it with actions that don't deserve the attention they're aiming to receive. They try to force it from others with their strength when their quiet leadership & strength warrants much more respect & attention.

God watches all of this. He made us to need each other, & need relationships. The problem is, we have turned this into a need of approval from each other, rather than having each other as a source of encouragement & fellowship. Instead of spending so much energy & time working to get a few minutes of attention from one person, wouldn't it make more sense to go to the source of our purpose in life? Our Creator? The one who sends us sunsets, & stars, & oceans, & flowers, & butterflies, & sunshine, & a million others good things in life simply to show us that He loves us? The One who fights for our hearts with His unfailing love. The One who is waiting whenever we surrender our hopelessness & accept His blessings, His faithfulness, His LOVE! He waits with open arms, & UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, dear ones. He knows everything about us, & more than that, He cares. He created us & knows our need. He is ready, willing, & able to be the source of everything we need, if we make a simple, although life-altering decision. To turn our eyes on Him. To give Him our attention, & stop begging it from others to feel like we are worth something. Because He already thinks that we are worth everything. He thought we were worth sending Jesus for, to make a way for us to come back to Him, even while we were sinners. And He loves us more than we could ever imagine.

There are those today who know these truths. But they look for excuses, distractions, things to keep them from having to face change. Change is scary. But living a life without Jesus is much, much scarier. Is it worth having the attention of men here on earth & missing out on what God has for us? The truth is, we aren't created to get attention for ourselves anyway. We're simply here to be used to point it ALL back to Him, He who is the only way we can be fulfilled, & always valued, & always, always, always loved. What is it going to take to get your attention that God wants your attention? The love letters for us, found in His word, are in most homes in America... The evidence is all around us...

He loves us. Our failings don't stop Him. He loves us. Our insecurities are forgotten in the midst of the absolute source of strength & love. He loves us. He is there when everyone else leaves. He loves us. His attention & His hand never leaves us even when the rest of the world turns their eye to focus on the next thing. He loves us. More than we could ever fathom. And He's simply waiting to show us if we give Him our attention. He cares about the mundane details, & more than that, He orchestrates them all to point us to Him. He is jealous for our attention. What is it going to take to give our attention where it is truly deserved?

When Peter walked on the water towards Jesus, he was fine when he kept his eyes, his attention, focused on Him. However, when he took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink. It's time to realize that without our full attention on Jesus & what He has for us, rather than our distractions & humans instincts, we are going to sink. We need Him. And friends, He wants us, against all odds.


Does He have your attention yet??


"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory & grace."

Q & A

I got tagged by Nina West (http://ninapottershands.blogspot.com) to do this Q & A, & since it's a Friday afternoon & I'm really not looking to start on next week's work yet, I'm going to play along. :) Plus, I love answering questions about myself. That's my favorite thing about meeting new people is telling them random things. So whether you know me a little or a lot, here is some more insight into my life that I'm sure you were dying to know! :) I'm supposed to tag people to do it after me but I don't have that many people to tag sadly so if you read this & wish to do it, you of course may do that. I'll answer Nina's questions that she came up with & then come up with 8 of my own. So here we go.

1. If you had a chance to change your name, would you & what would it be?
I really like my name. But if I wanted for whatever reason to change it, let's say for the witness protection program just to make it interesting, I would go with probably Caroline or Madelyn...Caroline is what I'm going to use for one of my children if God blesses me with a girl because my mom's name is Carolyn & I'd like to do a variation of that. And Madelyn is just classy & I like it.

2. What is/are your favorite books?
Oh my word. I could talk about books for hours. I could quite literally write a book about all the books that I love. Some of my favorite authors are: Nicholas Sparks, Jane Austen, & Sophie Kinsella; I'll read anything by them. Other books I love are Captivating by Stasi & John Eldredge (changed my life!), Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (& anything else by her), Crazy Love by Francis Chan, Praise Habit by David Crowder, Fireworks Over Toccoa by Jeffery Stepakoff, several by James Patterson like Sam's Letters to Jennifer, Sundays at Tiffany's... I usually find an author I like & read all of their books, or all that are the style of the one I enjoyed by that author. Mostly I read fiction (love stories, let's be honest), or books about Christian living. I could LIVE in Lifeway & just read every book in there. I just love bookstores in general & there have been SO many books that I have just loved and enjoyed; these are truly only a few.

3. If you were told you have 1 minute to pick out an outfit from your closet & not told where you were going, what would you pick & why?
Very interesting question. I would probably wear jeans because that's what I wear almost every day as a college student, whatever shirt caught my eye for the day; probably something green because that's my favorite, & some flats. And if it was around this season, my North Face jacket that I wear pretty much everywhere. And I would just hope & pray I wasn't underdressed. :) If I knew I needed to be dressed up, I have a few favorite dresses that I would choose from that I would wear anywhere. Nothing beats a comfortable, beautiful dress.

4. My sister-in-law and I have a small cake decorating business & hope to one day open a bakery, so what is your favorite dessert?
Oh goodness. Well, I have a serious passion for cupcakes. I almost completely adore cheesecake. And regular cake. And white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. And peanut butter pie. I should probably just stop there. :)

5. What has been the best vacation you have taken so far and what would be your ultimate dream vacation?
The best vacation I have taken so far would probably be a trip to New York City about 7 or 8 years ago. It was so different from anything I had seen before & even though I was younger, it was just incredible. My ULTIMATE dream vacation would have to last several months to fit in all the places I want to see. The places I want to visit most are Italy, Greece, France, England, & Ireland, so I would just need to do a whole European tour basically. But I would also love to see more of the Caribbean islands, I've been to Jamaica & it was incredible. I'd love to see more of the amazing beaches God created. I just love to travel & I really hope I get lots of opportunities for awesome trips in the future.

6. What are some of your favorite Bible verses?
"Charm is deceptive & beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
"WHATEVER happens my dear brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord." Philippians 3:1
"He has made everything beautiful in its time...they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Those are a few. I of course have a million favorite Bible verses too though, they're like my favorite books in that regard.

7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
In five years, I will hopefully be totally done with school, graduated from college, hopefully working somewhere in some wonderful job ministering to women, & hopefully at least engaged ;)

8. I know this may be a weird question but what is your daily skin routine?
I have used Proactiv for several years, besides the fact that it has ruined many a t-shirt, washcloth, & other various articles of clothing, it has done wonders for my face. But, it's super expensive & I'm pretty sure my skin is addicted to it. If I wash with anything else, my face immediately feels awful. For this reason, after this last bit of it I'm switching to Mary Kay because my mom sells it & it'll be easy to get, & much gentler on my skin & other fabrics as well. Basically my routine just revolves around the products I'm using; besides that, I just do what the directions tell me. :)

So, there's your useless information about my life that hopefully you may have slightly enjoyed reading. Okay, now, 8 questions for anyone who wants to do this after.

1. Do you have a favorite pet that you own either now or have owned in the past?
2. What is your favorite tv show?
3. Do you have siblings? How has having siblings affected how you view others?
4. What is the Lord doing in your life recently?
5. What is your favorite food that your mother/grandmother makes or used to make?
6. What is your favorite season & why?
7. If you could switch lives with anyone just for one day, who would it be & why?
8. Who are some people that you really look up to as people you want to be like? (People in your personal life; not celebrities)

Miracles.

I want to learn how to truly believe in miracles.

I wish I could genuinely just look at a situation, without seeing all the possible ways that it could fail, & have absolute faith that something amazing could happen.

So many times we're told when we're growing up, not to get our hopes up. We're taught to expect amazing things not to happen. It'd be awesome if it happens, but be prepared for it not to. That sort of thing.

Because of that, I have grown to be way too realistic.

I look at any dream, especially mine, & critique the things you have to figure out to make it happen. But sometimes, I wish I was the type of person that could just jump into something. Heart fully involved, giving it all I have. Faith that it'll work out, & faith to try again when it doesn't.

So many times, especially at NGU where there are so many incredible stories of faith played out in real lives of individuals, you can hear stories of absolute miracles. But the problem is, it's almost as if this is just something that happened in Biblical times, or something that happens to other people. I want to learn to EXPECT & BELIEVE in miracles. Small ones & big ones. Of course, many miracles are simply referred to as blessings. But I want real miracles. I want real faith. I want real life experiences, where I end every day knowing that I could never recreate that day even if I tried. Where every moment is surely designed by God, & every breath is a blessing & part of my continuing story.

I want to live for the little moments that add up to make a life. The rainbows, the laughter, the unexpected surprises that together make a beautiful life here on earth. And I want to catch little displays of God's power in miracles, real miracles.

I don't want to take any of it for granted, or waste any chance to make my life all it can possibly be. At the end of the day, truly all that matters is God, & the people that you share life's experiences with. I want to always remember that & live it out by making those my priorities.

So, here's to believing. And here's to miracles; shooting stars, falling in love, dreaming the impossible, & LIFE.

The Male Species.

Let me start by saying...



There is NOTHING more attractive in a guy than a genuine & obvious love for the Lord. Few things are truer than that.

Here at North Greenville there are tons & tons of good guys. There are guys that open doors, guys that let girls they don't even know wear their jackets in chapel, guys that are just generally nice, good guys. And yes, those things will get you noticed, probably by a lot of girls around here. Those things are appreciated. At least they are by me. I like guys that are nice & polite when I'm working in the bookstore or who make an effort to open a door for me (a few weeks ago a guy literally kicked a door open while I was carrying food & the door was about to close). Those things get my attention. But do you know what gets my attention more than anything? Genuine, obvious love for the Lord. A few weeks ago a guy was asked to pray in one of my classes & it was absolutely incredible to me. His love & adoration for the Lord just absolutely glowed in his words. It was amazing. We need more guys like that, & I want one like that.

I want a guy who will step up to his calling as a man. Someone who is actively pursuing a closer relationship with the Lord & thinks that my growth is important too. Someone who values God's desires over his desires to achieve the typical American dream. Someone who isn't necessarily a natural leader, because everyone isn't, but who is willing to at least work towards becoming one, & fulfill his calling as a man of God, even a man after God's own heart. Wouldn't it be amazing if we had more guys like that? But unfortunately, there seems to be a shrinking number of guys like that, & more that want to take shortcuts & do it halfway.

I pray every time I think about it for the guy who God is preparing for me, & that all God's young men would step up to their calling for this generation. So many things are wrong in this world right now, & we need courageous leaders to not only build & lead strong families, but churches & nations as well. We need men of integrity, & men who have an overwhelming passion for the Lord & seeing His work fulfilled. We can't sit by complacently any longer while crucial time is wasted on video games or handed over to addictions that destroy lives & families. As women especially, we also have to step up & encourage this movement in the men around us, & support them as they hopefully stand up to embrace the lives God has for them. Because they can make a difference, & I'd be willing to place a pretty big bet that God is just waiting for them to say those words, "Here am I, send me." They, & we as well, are needed for "such a time as this". Their strength & courage is needed, but coupled with humility & gentleness. Their passion is needed, but coupled with a Godly purpose. And their love is needed, above all, for God & for those living without Him in their lives.

We need to be steadfast in praying & seeking God's will for this generation, today & every day. Because truly, greater things are yet to be done in our homes, in our cities, & in our world if we are willing to answer His call.