Breaking free from fear.

Fear has a way of really holding you back.

So many of us are so afraid to step out because we don't know what's on the other side. So many times I've gotten comfortable in a certain place or routine that even if I'm not happy, I won't change anything because that's what I know. We try to hard to protect ourself from what we can't see coming that we might instead be preventing ourselves from incredible happiness that we can find in taking risks and chances in our lives.

There is certainly a lot of pain in losing things. We lose friends sometimes to moving or arguments, we lose family members and friends to death, we lose comfort when changing location...life definitely bears a lot of loss. But the whole thing is, we have to recognize what we have.

In my life, I have no guaranteed constants. I could go to sleep tonight and not wake up in the morning. I could leave this campus this weekend and not make it back. I could see my family one day and not have them at all the next. We don't know what each day holds. The only certain thing about life and what we know about it, is that nothing is certain. We don't hold the future. We can't live our lives being afraid though, and holding back to avoid those types of things though, because then we miss out on the whole point.

Even though I have no certainty about events to come, and even though I personally can't control any of the events around me, I do know the One who is in control. From the very first moment of my life, He knew every detail about single moment that would follow. And when I trusted Him with my life, I trusted Him to control those details.

I have freedom from fear of death - I know where I'm going. I have freedom from fear of losing loved ones - I know I'll see them again, if they're saved (and if they're not then I know what I need to do). I have freedom from fear of the unknown, since I have a relationship with the One who knows everything.

Even with trusting in God, I definitely identify with people who struggle with these fears, because at times I do too. Sometimes I get worried about situations that I don't know how they'll work out in the end. For a long time, I've had a fear of spending all this time waiting to find someone to spend my life with, and possibly losing them. Things happen. Death happens. But if I let that control me and hold me back, I could miss out on so much trying to save myself from experiencing that loss - I would also potentially miss out on a lot of love. This is true in a lot of situations.

God has purposes in everything He does. He orchestrates the events of our world for one reason: to spread His glory and fame. His name is greater than any other, and the purpose of our lives is to share His glory with others in the world, that they might come to praise Him too. Rather than focusing on our fear of how circumstances could effect us personally, we need to purposefully set our eyes on the ultimate point of our lives: to share His name, His love, and the freedom that comes in knowing Him.

I've had many people come into my life that haven't been able to stick around. I'm 19 years old and I've lost my three grandparents (my mom's dad died before my parents were married so I never knew him). I've lost friends in different situations of sickness or simply from moving away. But, for me to wish I hadn't known them simply because I had to lose them wouldn't make sense. Without knowing them, I would have missed out on the blessings that came from knowing them. I would have lost out on memories. I would have lost out on the things that God taught me through all of those different situations.

The thing we have to focus on is that God doesn't let us go through challenges because He wants us to hurt. The question of why bad things happen is one that will be forever asked as long as this earth is spinning. The answer though is simple: God wants us, all of us, to worship Him alone. And the difficult times in our lives, more than any other, can draw us to Him, since He's the one in control. He doesn't CAUSE bad things to happen, but He ALLOWS them to happen if they will fit His ultimate purpose, which is to draw glory to Himself. However, this can be hard to accept for us in our human state. At times the pain we experience doesn't seem worth it.

But my sweet friends, it IS worth it. He IS worth it. The pain we face now is nothing compared to the joy that comes from knowing Him, trusting in Him to carry us through the hard times, and growing closer to Him. Even though it's scary to lose things and people we love, by trusting Him to be our Healer, we get to experience some of the best aspects of who He is. Because He is always there to pick us up, and help us go on.

What we have to do is focus on Him. If we allow ourselves to focus on the fear of loss and change, we will miss out on the growth that comes when we get through it. We will miss out on the things He wants to teach us, and aspects of Himself that He can show us through those times. He can use ALL things in our lives, good and bad, to help us get to discover more of His heart.

I know that the loss I've faced in the past, and surely the trials that will come later on in my life is difficult to bear. But I also know that the pain that I feel shows how blessed I am for this simple reason: I have something to miss. I miss my grandparents and friends that have passed on because of the relationship I had with them. I miss my brothers who live far away from me because I love them and the things that God shows me through our relationships. I miss things about the past because they were good. This can help us see how great our blessings are, which all come from the God who loved us first, and even through this loss, we have more reasons to praise Him! Isn't it amazing how that works??

Some people are afraid to give their lives to Christ, because they won't be the ones running the show anymore. They don't want to risk trusting Him and giving control over. But I know from personal experience that when I trust Him with my circumstances, good and bad, He always comes through and helps put things together - whether putting things together for the first time or putting pieces back together - better than I could have ever done. Letting Him have control is worth it because when we don't know what is coming, or how to shoulder our challenges, He can handle it. If you haven't yet today, trust Him. Trust Him with your fears and your heart and your life, and see where He takes you, because I promise you it will be farther than you ever dreamed if you make Him the focus of your life. He conquered the grave...what is it that we think He can't handle?!

I don't deserve Jesus but I have Him. I don't deserve this life that I get to live but, for now at least, I get to live it. I get to enjoy my family, my incredible friends, and His creation every day. But even if I had none of those things or people, He would still be enough, because He is the epitome of blessings. Getting to know His heart and be a part of His plan is all by itself, worth living for. No matter what happens in my life, God will still be good. He is neverchanging, He is constant, and because of this His goodness does not end, even when my circumstances aren't good.
So today if you're struggling, allow Him to pick you up. Allow Him to lead you through it. If you're not down right now, go ahead and draw close to God so that when you fall, because you will, He will be right there to hold you up through it all. And most of all, in all circumstances, give thanks for the blessings; for the time that we do have together as friends, for the love we get from family, for the joy in fleeting moments, because we don't know when it might be gone...but I do know Who has been and will be in control forever, and today, I'm trusting Him with whatever else comes my way.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

My best friend.

Sometimes there are people who come into your life, & you have no idea the impact that they'll make on you.

One of those people in my life is someone that I met when I was 6 years old. She happened to live across the road from me when we moved to Taylors, SC. We met on the front steps of my dad's church, right before VBS one night in the summer. I still remember when I found out she lived across the street. That was the moment that started it all.

Time passed, as did snow days, summer days, & birthdays. We did ridiculous things together, & made incredible memories. We didn't go to school together, but I loved getting to hang out with her whenever we had a chance.

In 6th grade, she moved to my school. For the first time, we got to see each other way more than usual, & it was awesome. We had classes together. My family was going through a lot, & she was someone who I could always talk to about it. She knew my family so well since she had spent so much time with us. It was just special. Around Christmas of 6th grade, I found out that we were moving again. At first it was supposed to be Spartanburg, but that eventually turned into Georgia when my grandmother got sick & we knew she was going to go home soon. Through all of that, I was scared. Scared to move again, scared to lose my friends, scared to leave South Carolina. So I would call her about it. We would talk about it, & it just helped. Then we moved.

Over summer, with all the changes in my family along with moving to a different state, we lost touch for a little bit. Then, the night before she started another year of school, I called her to tell her good luck & try to catch up. That was when the calls started back. I was experiencing so many new things, & she was this person who had always been around. She knew me. Everything that I was facing, I told her about, & she told me about everything happening there so I still felt connected. She knew all the names of my new friends, & just everything about everything really. And she was such an encouragement. We would talk for hours - on the phone, on the internet, through email... We wrote letters, too. She was the one person that I was really able to keep in touch with, & the one person that I absolutely needed to keep in touch with. And we did it. Somehow, we did it.

Sometimes I'd get to go back & visit, & it was just like I had never left. We would talk about everything & talk about how different it would be if I still lived across the street. We would talk about how maybe someday I could come back. We would make plans, & just have fun being together. Then I would go back home, & we'd call each other & it was still like we were together, even with over 100 miles between us.

High school passed, & was coming to an end. I was looking for a college...we talked all the time about how cool it would be to go to college together, & happened to look at some of the same ones. I never really thought it could happen though, it was just one of those "wouldn't that be awesome" things, just like the idea of moving back had always been. As time went by, & I couldn't find one, I decided one night to check out NGU, where she was already planning to go. And from that night, things just fell into place. And it happened. I moved back. I got my best friend back in my day to day life. I got to come back to Greenville.

In the less than 20 years that I've been alive, I've had a lot of changes happen. I've moved several times to different places with my dad's job, I've had things change in my family, & there is always something going on. But the awesome thing is, she's always been there, in one way or another. Whether it's been in person or on the other end of the phone, we've been through it together. And now as we face dreams and plans for the rest of our lives, it's the one friendship that I know won't be messed up when we're not seeing each other all the time anymore, if those days come again. God's plans for our lives are bound to take us many, many places, & possibly even completely different directions. But thankfully, the Lord gave me someone who is traveling right alongside me, even though not always physically. He gave me a best friend who somehow occasionally finds humor in my jokes, understands the way my brain works, & is just there to listen. Our relationship has taught me so much about loyalty, & being a real friend. And I could not be more thankful for her being in my life every moment we get to spend together, especially because I've experienced so much time away from her.

I used to wish I had a best friend that I got to be with all the time like other people at school since mine was 3 hours away. And that wish came true, & I do get to have that, at least for now. But even if I lose that part of our friendship, I know that God brought us together, years and years ago now, so that we could be there for each other through all of this that we have faced, & all that we will face in the future. No matter what He brings us to, I know that God is good, & He has proven that so many times, especially through this friendship that He has given us. And no matter what, I know one person I can always count on.

So today, Emily Greer, I celebrate the friendship that we have. I treasure the memories we have made, the ones we're making, & the ones that are still in the future. And I can't wait to experience many, many more days with you as we pursue the calls that God has placed on our lives. Happy birthday! I love you!

Noise.

Lately I've been having a few dorm related issues (stay with me here), mostly related to the level of noise that has existed consistently since we got back from break. Now most of the time, I like noise. Controlled noise. I like to have a fan on when I sleep, I like to have music or the tv on when I'm home or at the dorm room alone...I'm not usually a fan of complete silence or anything. But since we got back last Monday, the noise is at an alltime high somehow. There are girls talking at full volume in the hallway at night, running, & oh, the music. There is loud music, usually when I'm trying to study, read, or think in general. Not exactly something that's been that awesome. But besides being pretty annoying, it's got me thinking.

What sorts of things are covered up by the noise of the world in my life? Besides a little music or noise from a fan covering up the little sounds we might like to hear, too much distraction can also cover up the little whisperings. The Lord speaks in a still small voice. Are we making ourselves available to listen to it? Are we taking the time to really sit & focus on what it is He's trying to say to us? Because the noise around us is loud. In this age, we have every distraction imaginable. Even when we get "away", we're still surrounded by ways to stay just a little bit plugged in. But at what cost?

The Lord has amazing things planned for us if we'll attune ourselves to the desires of His heart, & His plan. So we need to make as much time as possible to listen & learn what that is.

When I'm spending time with someone, if they're distracted by other things around us, they can miss what I'm saying. & more than that, they can miss a relationship just by not focusing.

I don't want to miss the relationship. I don't want to miss knowing His heart & seeing the miracles He can do in the world by using me in my complete insignificance. I don't want to be so distracted that I stop noticing the beauty He has put into the world to draw me to Himself. I don't want to get to the end & realize that I couldn't hear His voice not only over the constant noise around me, but over my own voice; I don't want to realize that I held on to my desires & wishes as being more important.

If you had a friend or relative who you knew would bless you & make your life better if you made it a priority to build that relationship, you would certainly work on that, wouldn't you? Well, God controls everything. And He wants to bless us because of His great love. What if we miss out on knowing Him, & knowing all that He wants to give us & do through us, because of simple distractions & noise that we let drown out His voice? What a tragedy that would be.

Let's turn it all off. Let's just spend some time in His presence. Soak it all in. There is such peace in knowing Him, & there is such joy in doing His will. Not only because of what we get out of it, but that we get to play a part in making His name famous, which is what our existence is all about, after all.

There's just something about that name...

If you made a list of the huge questions that humans face in life, one of the biggest and most frequently considered would be "What is the meaning of life?" Everyone wants to figure out what it's all about. In a Christian's life, I think we're a little bit closer to figuring out that answer. We know that the purpose of our lives is to glorify God; to bring Him praise. But I'm just now realizing just how big of a deal that is, & what a huge part it is of the entire history of everything.

Any student here at North Greenville could tell you that we're here to live for God & share Him with other people. And we know that that's what God wants, we know that on a surface point. But, the roots are much, much deeper than those simple words.

From the beginning of time, it's been about Him. He created us so that we could have the chance to experience Him, & know Him. When we sinned in the very beginning, (& I say we because even though Adam & Eve were the only ones there physically, we've all done it a million times in our own ways) we broke our chance for fellowship with Him, since He can't look upon sin. He made Adam & Eve leave the Garden of Eden so they wouldn't eat from the Tree of Life & be forever left in their fallen state; even THAT, He did for us! Then, He began setting things in motion to bring His son to earth to be the sacrifice for our sins. That we could again have fellowship with Him, know Him, experience Him, & praise Him. Everything in the Old Testament, from his covenants to circumstances that He allowed to happen, were in accordance with His plan. His plan to restore us to Himself. Then, when Jesus came, He took all of our sin upon Himself.

I have to let that sink in for a second. I can hardly bear the guilt and pain from my own personal sin. Can you imagine bearing the weight of every sin ever committed, & ever to be committed? He beared it all for us, Himself. Because only by doing so could we be able to regain fellowship with Him, & reveal His glory to the world. But you see, it's still about Him. It's about His glory, & honor. About realizing & soaking in the light of His goodness & mercy. It's not about us.

Living in this present age, especially in America, we are led to believe that it is all about us. If you don't want to do something, don't. If you want something, do what you have to in order to get it. If you love someone, be with them. If you "feel" like behaving a certain way, or really just whatever you want to do, do it! We're taught by the media that we're entitled, that we deserve these things.

My friends, we don't deserve anything. We are sinners. We don't even deserve life but He gave it to us. We don't deserve His love; we have denied His so many times, in our lives & in our hearts, & yet He will always be waiting to take us back. We don't deserve any of His goodness, but He freely bestows it on us. He is the one who DESERVES all of the good. He deserves all of the praise. He deserves our lives, for us to serve Him. We deserve hell, but He sent us a way out. Because His purposes are greater. His purposes are for His name to be glorified, no matter what.

If I have to suffer for His name, then so be it. Whatever I must endure, wherever I must go, I'll take it. Because it's not about me. He has already blessed me far beyond anything I could ever imagine. I have an incredible family. I have amazing friends. I have LIFE, & I get to see His reminders of His love all around me in Creation. What could be greater?

The purpose of my life is to contribute to His purposes. And His purposes are for His name to be lifted up; for His name to be famous; for His name to be the one we're worried about. Not our own.

The most glorious thing of all is that He allows us to be a part of it.

He can do whatever He pleases; He's God. Any circumstances that arise, He makes that work in His favor to bring people to know Him, that more would discover His Name. And when we choose to love Him, He allows us to be a part of bringing others to know His love as well.

When I was younger I viewed this subject about God through very human eyes. Realizing that all of everything revolves around Him seems almost selfish of Him, in a way, since in our lives it would be a bad thing. But the good news is, that is not the case with Him. He has shared Himself with us in so many ways, to allow us to experience any good thing that comes our way. He blesses us so fully, just because it allows us to know His goodness & mercy more. Because while we were yet sinners, He died for us. So that we could have a chance to know His name.

His name brings life. His name brings mercy. His name brings peace. His name brings order. His name means that there is someone who has it all under control, whose plans are without error, & whose plans WILL be carried out with or without our personal help. But wouldn't you like to have a part in that? Wouldn't you like to be a part of sharing His name with others & making it great among the nations?

I am only BEGINNING to realize the magnitude of who He is, & how great He really is. But I can't wait to discover even more, & for my passion to share His name to grow & overflow in my life.

As the hymn says, "There's just something about that name..."

Oh, how He loves us.

As women, we want to be noticed. We spend hours doing our makeup and picking out clothes for others to hopefully find us beautiful. We endure countless beauty routines to hopefully attain the standard of beauty that the world has set for us; to try and find love.

The thing is, we don't have to.

We are already so incredibly beautiful to the One who fashioned our feminine hearts; who knit us together in the beginning of our lives; who made us just the way we are to reveal aspects of Himself through us.

We don't have to lose weight, or color our hair, or cake on the makeup, or buy new clothes for Him to love us.

Consider this: God could not love you more than He does right in this moment. In the moments to follow, that love isn't going anywhere. And He has loved you like that since He first created You. Since He designed your personality & wrote the story of your life. You have nothing to prove to Him to deserve that love.

So many times women feel so pressured to change things about themselves to attract a man. But you already have the absolute full attention of the God of the Universe. He could not love you more, or desire to have a relationship more than He does. And that will never change.

Isn't it amazing to serve a God whose feelings for you will never change? In relationships many times that isn't the case; feelings come & go once we see who the other person really is. But with God? He knows us already. He knows how we are on our darkest days. He knows our deepest thoughts & desires. And He loves us, for all of that. Nothing will change from that. Nothing you've done, or ever could do will change the love He holds for you. He will always, always love us. He has proven it time & time again, especially in my life, that He will ALWAYS come through when I have faith in Him to do so.

There are no standards that we have to reach to approach the King of Kings. Is that not incredible? A song by Natalie Grant has a line in it that says "How can I be the one your heart aches for?" As a single person, that speaks to my heart. His heart aches to be close to me. He wants me. The good, the bad, He will take it all. Not only will He take it, but He will transform my heart and help me move past the rougher parts to make them look a little more like His own heart.

So next time you wonder if someone else will like the way you look or dress or whatever it is, just remember, He does. He always has, & He's not going anywhere. You were worth it to Him to send His son to die, & He will always have a stronger hold than those that try to pull you in directions to look for love in other places.

You already have it all, all the love you could ever need, for eternity. What an awesome God we serve, and oh, how He loves us.

Joy like sunshine.

At the start of this new year I've been doing a whole lot of thinking. And a lot of that is about my attitude. Every year comes with a wonderful opportunity for more chances every day to make yourself better; to get a few steps closer to being who God made you to be. And this year, I want to take full advantage of that. One area of that in my life is being purposefully joyful.

This past year came with a lot of changes. With several family situations & graduating & leaving friends & family to go to college, I encountered quite a few lonely & sad days. I normally don't consider myself to be a sad person, but I really started hitting some days where I just felt really sad. That is not who God made me to be. God wants me to be happy & experience His joy every day. I can't even explain all the joy that comes from knowing what Jesus has done for me, & how much He loves me, but sometimes we get so caught up in the little problems & temporary stresses that we tend to forget that. But this year, I'm making steps to try & fix that.

I heard a few days ago about a project to write down every day something that made that day awesome. Since I blog (obviously) & keep several other journal type things, I like to be able to look back & relive certain feelings I had. And why should those not be the best parts of my day, every day this year? It sounded like a great idea to me, so that's what I've been doing. And even these past few days being at home not doing all that much have had moments that just made that day awesome, & made me thankful for everything the Lord has given me. This is already, only one week into the new year, starting to affect my outlook. The thing is, things could always be worse. This is something I try & remind myself in basically any situation I face. There is always someone who has it harder than we do, so we need to just take where we're at, give it to Jesus, & trust that He will take care of us, no matter how big it is. So, there are always going to be little moments in every day that the Lord will give us to remind us of His love & the joy that comes from knowing Him.

I don't know about you, but I really like to be happy. And since happiness can change, we can't always control that. But we can control joy. Joy is deeper, & constant. If we focus on the blessings in every situation, God will always show us how good we've really got it with Him. So, I am committed this year to having joy. And realizing that joy, every day. Some days will require seeking it out. Some days it will be as obvious as sunshine. There will be rainy days that require a little more depth in the seeking, but even when we can't see it, the sunshine is always there. So is joy, if we look for it. No matter what the days bring this year, I want to make it a point to purposefully see how good God is. To just soak in His presence, & experience the joy that He shines into my life through just being who He is. I encourage you to do this also, to really focus on the good things. To focus on the blessings of this life, because friends, we are so immensely blessed. So let's make this a year to realize that every day. And let the joy & resulting thankfulness abound.

Splendor and majesty are before Him; strength and joy are in His dwelling place. 1 Chronicles 6:27

Blessings in brothers.

Today's my big brother's birthday. He is amazingly 21 years old today! I feel old.

We got to meet him & his wonderful girlfriend Chelsea for lunch in Athens. It was a lot of fun & I'm really glad I got to see him one more time before I head back to school this weekend.

I have always wished I could have sisters since I only had brothers but now that I'm older, I'm really really thankful that God gave me brothers. It has given me a chance to have the opportunity to study them (haha) & gain a bit more understanding of that gender. And the real blessing is that as they find wonderful girls, I get sisters anyway! It all works out. And I have the most amazing brothers. They both are incredibly independent, & through that have created some unique challenges for themselves here & there. But they both truly have wonderful hearts. Even though it's taken them a few years to admit it, I know how much they love me & I'm so thankful to have good relationships with them that are only getting better as we get older. God has just blessed me beyond measure with my siblings & even though I miss them terribly since we all live far apart, I'm grateful to have people like them to miss. I'm grateful to have relationships with each of them that are the type where I do miss them often. I'm entirely thankful for the laughter & the growth & the memories we've shared over the years, & the strength they've taught me. And I'm just so proud to call them mine, no matter what life may bring.