Lessons from childhood.

Childhood is an amazing thing. During a person's childhood, they learn about the world, they discover new things every day, and experience things that can set up who they will be for the rest of their life. Sometimes we are lucky enough to meet people during this period of life that will walk with us through everything that comes after. Over the course of these years, there are a million things that happen, and a thousand events that occur. Many of them fail to touch us with their significance.

As sacred as innocence is, I wish there were some things that we didn't have to wait until we're older to realize.

1. The value of childhood.
If I got paid every time I heard someone say in high school or college that they wish they had nap time built into the schedule again, I would never have to work a day in my life. When you're a kid though, you're more worried about playing with whatever toys are in the room that you're being required to sleep in than actually getting any sleep. You don't realize how quickly your childhood is passing, and you have no idea how much you will want to get pieces of it back when you're older.

2. The importance of family.
I have been on this earth for almost 20 years now, and for several of those in the in between years, I didn't realize how important my family was. I have always loved my family deeply, but I can remember many days that were wasted by fighting with my brothers and being upset that something didn't go the way I wanted it to. I remember family trips where we were all furious in the backseats. And now that I live apart from my brothers, I wish more than anything that those times had been different. I wish we could have appreciated those times that we were all together with no state lines in between us. Not a day goes by that I am apart from my brothers that I don't miss them completely, and that I wish I had known during those years how special they were.
The same goes with my grandparents. With my dad's mom especially, she died when I was only twelve. At twelve years old, I hadn't ever considered that my grandparents would be going anywhere any time soon. And because of that, there are so many things I wish I could have asked her, things I wish I had known about her, experiences I wish we could have shared. But I was only a kid, and I didn't know that those opportunities wouldn't come. Losing all three of my grandparents now, and living without any for almost 2 years now has helped to teach me the frailty of human life, and not to take time for granted with those that we love. If only I had known then.

3. Save, don't spend.
One thing that I wish I had learned before now is to save my money! In our family that was encouraged, but it was never mandatory. As long as I've tithed money that I get, I usually didn't worry about any of the rest of it. And thankfully, it hasn't hurt me that badly, since college has been covered by scholarships and my parents have graciously bought things for me, like my car, that I would never have been able to afford on my own. But now as I am starting to save money for the future, I wish I hadn't thrown away so much money over the years on silly impulsive purchases. This is something I will try my hardest to teach my kids when I have them.

4. Count your blessings.
There's that song, "Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings, see what God has done..." I know that it's hard to realize just how much you have when your entire world is built around your family and school life, but I think that many things go unappreciated as children. First of all, there are so many kids walking around in brand names that even I can't afford. I mean, really? Honestly guys, I love kids but they are messy and pretty gross at times. And unless you never allow your child to do anything active or creative, those clothes are going to get ruined. Seriously, why would you spend that much on a child's clothes?! It might make you feel better for them to look nice (for an hour or two before they ruin it), but they definitely don't care that they are wearing Ralph Lauren right now. But, I digress. The point here is, it is easy to overlook how blessed we are. When I was younger, I didn't realize that not everyone had parents that loved me as much as mine did. I didn't know that there were other kids who lived in less than suitable living conditions. I didn't understand that I was richly blessed, just by having my basic needs met both emotionally and physically. This isn't a point that I wish we only realized in childhood, but something that we constantly work to realize.

5. Hard work is hard, but so worth it.
When I was a kid, I was kind of a quitter.
Some examples:
I played piano for two years (quit to play flute in the band),
flute for one year (quit because I moved),
I played baseball for a year, (Joined because both my brothers played, and I wanted to be like them...and have the cool outfit. Then, quit because I wasn't very good, to be honest. I was in 1st grade...)
I cheerleaded for a year. (Quit because I didn't like practicing so much. Honestly, people, that was my excuse! Oh, younger me.)
I played basketball for four years (getting better...).
Obviously, I didn't stick to many things that I started. And these are just major examples. While I appreciate that my parents let us do things we were interested in and didn't force us to do things we didn't want to, I now realize that a little force might have been good for me. I wish now that I had stuck to some of these things, mainly the piano and some sports activity, and put in the time to get good at them. The things that are harder to do are always more rewarding because of the time you put into them. The greatest accomplishments come from the greatest challenges. And I realize now that I probably missed out on some things back then because of it.

Childhood is a time when we learn about the world around us, and as I've gotten older, I really wish I had been able to know how important these things would be down the road. But, life is a journey and if we knew everything at the beginning, I guess we wouldn't be able to learn as much as we go, right?

These are just a few of the things I wish I had known about then that have impacted how my life is now. What would you add to this list? What are things that you wish you had known/realized when you were a kid? I'd love to hear from you.

The potential of a year.

At the beginning of things, everything always feels so promising. At the beginning of a life, at the beginning of a marriage, a friendship, a year, a new job, college, whatever. It's always exciting not to know exactly what all is going to happen, and to dream about where the story is going to lead.

Right now in my story, I am entering my second year of college, and even as I type that I can't believe it. But I moved in yesterday and classes start tomorrow, and I just love that feeling of newness. I love not knowing who all I'm going to meet this year, and not knowing how my classes are going to be yet, and just not knowing what all God is going to do. It's all very exciting. I have a brand new roommate (who I love so far), and same room (some things should just be the same for comfort's sake ;) ) so this year feels like it's gonna be a great one!

As promising and as full of potential this year feels, I don't want to get caught up in little things day to day and miss out on making it a year that really stands out and counts for something. I don't want to get so focused on school and things that I miss opportunities to get involved with those around me and build relationships, because to me, that is the absolute priority in my life. After our relationship with Jesus, relationships with those around us are so important and special, and I feel like this year brings new chances to build strong ones and experience people in new ways.

It'll be interesting to look back at the end of this school year in May and see what all God has done. But for now, I can only look forward to starting classes tomorrow and getting started down whatever roads God is going to lead me down in the next few months!

To God be the glory.

We do not walk alone.

I love to read. I love it, but I'm a picky reader. I tend to only like certain types of stories, and I have a rather narrow window of what I like, in the fiction genre, anyway. My favorite type of story is one that follows either a person, or a couple, or friends, or a family over a number of years. There is something so precious about that to me, to see how the people change and how certain events effect them, and how they're still together for all those years. That's why I love my family, because they've been the constants over my short number of years. That's why my best friends are those that I have been blessed to have in my life the longest; they know me better than anyone else if only because they have been there through many years. And that's why I love love so much. I love the though of finding that one person to be with me for the rest of my years, no matter what comes. And because I enjoy those relationships in my life, I love to read about them.

At the beginning of the movie Up, it traces the story of a little boy as he meets the girl who will become his wife and it follows them through their life together, in a series of memories. There is something just so absolutely sweet about that to me. Relationships are formed over time, and the little things that happen every day make up the story of a life over the years. And it is amazing to find people to share that with you. I have been personally blessed with the ones the Lord has allowed in my life this far, and I am expectantly awaiting others who will come along and join the story.

As much as I can't wait to have someone of my own to share the story with, my spirit reminds me that I already have someone very special. Someone who has been there with me since the very beginning of my existence, and Someone who has not left, and will never leave me. He has been there for every step, every fall, every accomplishment, every heartache, and every song He has brought to my heart. And even if I never find someone who is physically there with me every day, I will not have lost out on sharing my life with someone. Because He has been there not only beside me, but many times, carrying me through to the next day. And that is so special.

I know that at times I tend to lean towards loneliness, especially when I'm away from home and my family. I know that many do. But it is a wonderful thing to have the blessed assurance that Jesus is mine. He will never leave me, and He will continue to walk with me for all of my days. I am so blessed to have Him in my life, and to experience these adventures with Him as they come. And I hope for you as well that if you don't already have Him leading the way, that you would allow Him in to share your life with you. Because only He can make it all that it is meant to be. It is a special thing to have people to be there for you, but it is a miraculous thing to walk with Jesus and see what He can do through you, and in you.

We do not walk alone, my friends.

Overcoming independence.

Many times, especially in the phase of life that I'm in, independence is constantly pushed on you.

Ready or not, it's time to do it on your own. That's the way it goes. And most of us rise to meet it and do just fine.

Even though I'm a person who has never really liked to be on their own for too long, I've adjusted quite well to life on my own. But in some areas of my life, I've become a little too independent.

So many times, I'm in this mindset of getting things done on my own. And sometimes, asking God for help becomes a thought in the back of my mind rather than my main concern.

But the truth of it is, I can't do anything on my own. I wouldn't even be able to take my next breath if He didn't allow it. So what makes me think I can handle things that come up in my life all on my own? I mean it's not like I never ask for help. I do. But many times I'm so busy checking things off on my "things to deal with" list that I don't realize how silly I'm being by trying to deal with it on my own.

Instead of letting Him lead the way, I try and take the lead and make my plans and hope that He can work through them in the way He wants. But I shouldn't expect Him to have to work from my blueprints and get the same result that He's after. If someone were to have a plan for a house and wanted it to turn out a certain way, you couldn't take them your blueprint and expect them to put work into that and still come out with what they were originally trying to accomplish. And the truth of it is, it's not about what I'm after anyways. Because as many times as I fail to remember it, my life is not about me, but rather it is about bringing glory to the one who gave it to me in every way possible.

So now comes the hard part. Stepping back and releasing my control. Letting Him take the lead, and submitting my will for His. Only by doing that can I experience the fullness of things to come through surrendering my world to His control.

I have always been a planner. I am a list maker, and I am easily focused on things that need to be accomplished. But rather than plan out all the details in a way that makes sense to me, I have to start letting Him make the plans, and then jump in to get involved in whatever ways He allows me to.

I read in a blog a few weeks ago that "We lose so much of life's adventure in the planning." And for this spirit that's been feeling more than a little restless these days, some adventure sounds great. Especially by a God who can create a life for me that is infinitely better than one I could ever imagine.

Even as I focus on relenting my stronghold on control tonight, I know that this is not the only time I will have to do so. As humans we love to control things around us, and I am sure that at some points, I will try and regain control when I don't understand the way things are going. But I know that God will lead me in the way that He wants me to go, and my main thing to focus on, rather than writing the plans, is following the plans of the Writer, Redeemer, and Savior of my soul.

Keep my heart open as You lead me, Lord.

Thoughts on being alive.

Lord, help me not to take things for granted.

Help me to always notice the beauty of the world around me because there are those who can't see it.

Help me to appreciate the sounds of birds flapping their wings to take flight, the laughter of other people, and other beautiful sounds because there are those who can't hear them.

Help me to deeply feel the love of those who offer it to me because there are those who wait for it and may never find it.

Help me to never take my life as a whole for granted. Help me to feel every moment, to live every second to its fullest potential, and to not hold back from feeling things to the fullest extent.

Help me to always realize the simple value of things I encounter daily, and usually use or view without second thought.

Help me to never take my parents or brothers for granted because there are those who have lost theirs and would give anything to have what I have.

Help me to love and appreciate my friends and enjoy every second I get to spend with them.

Help me to dream as big as I possibly can dream, and to run after them with faith that You will bring to life all that matches up with Your purposes for me.

Help me to not glide through moments, but instead to live a life of being aware of how very blessed I am.

Help me to live with a passion and neverending will to thrive, and help me to never lose a passion and hunger to see others come to know You, and find a deeper meaning in all of these details of life.

Help me to truly live, and to do this in a way that honors and glorifies You. Allow me to see Your hand and Your heart in these seemingly simply circumstances and events, and to praise You for every bit of it.

Summer so far.

I haven't written a blog in over 2 months. This is a crazy lapse of time for me since I used to update...well, a lot more than that. On some levels I've been really busy. On some levels I haven't been that busy at all, really. But regardless, I haven't been writing - not in here at least.

I am over halfway through summer, and what a lovely summer it has been. I got my first car at the beginning of May, and my family went on a wonderful vacation to Florida in May also. I also have my first summer job this year as a nanny, which I'm really enjoying. I keep a charming and hilarious little girl named Abby who is one of the most delightful six year olds I've encountered. We have lots of fun and read books I haven't read in ages and watch shows I haven't watched in years. We jump on the trampoline and "swim" through the yard back to the house. We color in coloring books and play Candy Land. It's a pretty awesome job.

I went to a concert at the beginning of the summer with my friend Brittany and we saw Matt Wertz and Ben Rector. It was awesome. And in a few weeks we're going to see Taylor Swift. Super excited about that. I also have a few more concerts in the works but I'll talk about them when they're closer. :)

We had VBS at church week before last and 10 kids got saved which was awesome. Especially since our church isn't big. Speaking of church I am missing my church in Greenville! I am super ready to get back to Greenville at the end of the summer and be back with my friends and get back to the new "normal". I am looking forward to meeting my new roommate for this year too!

I've been painting a lot recently - I did three this week! Mostly they're just quotes or bible verses with some sort of picture to go along with it but I am having so much fun with that. I know I will never be a professional artist or anything but it is so much fun to paint just for fun. My dorm room will be nice and colorful like I like it!

I'm going up to Greenville this weekend to see my wonderful best friends and I am so excited about that. It has been far too long! Besides that I'll just be working and trying to keep up with Abby this week!

July will be here soon and I can't wait to see what else the Lord brings my way in my time remaining at home! God is faithful and is blessing me in so many ways lately. I'll write soon to talk about that more.

Hope you're enjoying your summer too, friend! Don't forget to deliberately notice all the blessings God has given us in this beautiful season! He is good, indeed!

Drawing closer.

Sometimes I close myself off from people. It's not that they've done anything, it's not that I don't like them, even. I just don't make an effort to get to know them. I've explained to a friend before that I love close relationships, but I hate getting there. I hate the middle ground of kind of being friends and kind of not knowing each other. The awkwardness that sometimes occurs. So, I avoid things. But not just things. People. I love people, I do. But I don't always show it. Because I don't make the effort. Your actions show what's important to you. So, even though I may really admire someone, if I don't make an effort to connect to them, it shows others that it's not important to me. I don't want that to be true. Another thing that this has all made me realize is this: sometimes I do the same thing to God. It's easy in going to a Christian school and growing up as a preacher's daughter to want to act like I have it all together all the time. But I don't. I have off days. I even have off weeks sometimes. But it isn't God who goes anywhere. It's when I don't make the effort. When I spend my time in other ways, and I don't make my focus using my energy to grow closer to God, I show God that He isn't important. We have 168 hours in a week. I'm trying to be more aware of how I'm spending them. I want to invest more in the most important relationship. And I want to invest more effort and energy into building relationships with the people around me. Because I'm the only one missing out on both ends. But when I take the time to take care of that primary relationship, I'll have the motivation and love to pour into those other relationships, which is a beautiful thing. I want to be real here, I want to be honest. This is where I can share what I'm learning, and lately this is it. So no, I'm not perfect. I don't have it all together. But I know who can put it all together, and use me for His glory. And He wants good things for me, in relationship with Him and with the people He brings into my life. So if you're like me, and you find yourself either not trying with other people, or not putting all the effort you should be into your relationship with God, let's start changing that today. Let's let him make a difference through our lives today, because you know He will. What are we afraid of? Thanks for listening to my heart. I love you.