It's amazing to me how critical we as people are of each other. And this isn't something I'm separating myself from to notice, I'm as guilty as anyone. We critique & criticize each other for how our hair looks, our clothes, how smart we are, how much money we have, what kind of car we have...the list goes on forever. This is one aspect of our world that we could definitely do without, & further than that, we could CHANGE THE WORLD if it were different.
I was thinking about a certain situation earlier with a former close guy friend who decided to tell me things I should change about myself that would make guys like me more. What's sad is that I actually considered taking some of those things & trying to change them, even though I told him at the time that someone shouldn't love me only for physical attributes (which is where most of his focus was), but for who I am. Regardless of my feelings even then, sometimes I still think about ways that in his eyes, I didn't measure up. In hindsight I realize how absurd this is. If the God of the Universe sent His one and only Son to die for me, when I was a wretched sinner, if I was good enough for Him, how can another sinner tell me that I won't be good enough unless I meet certain criteria & standards? The media is bombarding young women with ways to be thinner, prettier, ways to go after guys, ways to make them go after you...the problem is, they're teaching girls to improve things that won't attract the type of guy that they should want to be with! The problem is though, & this opens up a whole other topic, these girls are searching for love in the wrong ways, & in the wrong places. Just as Jesus thought I was good enough from the beginning, He LOVED me from the beginning. He can't love me more than He does right now. That's so hard to comprehend, yet so amazing. It's unfathomable. I love having a God who's so big & amazing that even I as a believer can't understand it. Once you can grasp this, that God is the only source of real, true, unfailing love, you start to see other things differently. I gave up on dating a while ago. I didn't want to live under the pressure of having someone to feel like I'm worth something. And the wonderful thing is that I'm finally at an age where I love myself. Not that I always love everything ABOUT myself, but I love MYSELF as a whole. God made me the way He made me for reasons that only He knows, & He wants me to use the way I am to impact the world for His glory! When you think about your identity like that, & stop trying to figure out why you don't measure up to the world's standards (since God's standards are much better anyway), it changes your whole outlook. As far as girls go, rock what you've got! I will be the first to admit it takes a while to truly find who that person is, & even then you're constantly changing, but don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough. If you're good enough for Jesus, that's the only good enough you need to measure up to. And let's face it, He wouldn't have died for us if He didn't think so. Although the world might not always think we're what we should be, we ALWAYS have a place to go where we are totally loved & accepted. All this isn't to say that we should just say, "Well, Jesus made me this way! Can't change it!" There is nothing wrong with improving yourself for the right reasons, say, to live a healthier lifestyle, because things like that can totally help you to be more effective for Christ. But let's let go of the standards that no one should be asked to reach. There is such a thing as individuals to celebrate God's creativity, & if we were all the same, that would be much harder to find in the human race.
At school every day I see tons of people yelling at each other, being rude, being inconsiderate, talking back to teachers, sarcasm running rampant in conversations, hurtful remarks made behind other's backs (& once again I'm not excluding myself from being guilty). Then today when I had a pretty awful day, I had not one, but two people open doors for me. And not just holding it open behind them but stepping in front of me to open the door, & within the same trip to class. This impressed me so much. But it also made me sad to realize that a simple act of being considerate is so rare that I'm that impressed. Our culture, especially young people, are so entitled, so caught up in their own worlds, so accomodated by adults for their every wish & desire, that they don't even think about other people! There is so much wrong with this. We need to stop looking in the mirror in front of our faces & instead look through the window to see what we should do to help others right there in front of us. There are ways every day that we can take advantage of to help other people, which is not only helpful to them, but rewarding to us! Jesus wants us to be a caring people, to love one another. Let's start showing it. You know the Love Dare? From Fireproof? In that movie it's to improve marriages, but I think we should adopt something like that in our relationships with other people. Go out of your way every day to make someone else feel better, to compliment them, to help them if they're having a bad day. A little goes a long way.
This has been a little hodgepodge of thoughts, if you made it through to the end! I hope you got something out of it, know that you're not alone, & I hope that you'll help me try to make a difference in the easiest ways possible, by encouraging our fellow human beings!
Shine!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Blessings galore.
It's amazing how God humbles you sometimes.
I've been sitting here reading a blog that I found through a friend who knows a man who was recently diagnosed with cancer. He, & more recently his wife, posts about their daily struggles & small triumphs as they fight his battle for life. (www.teamemmett.com if you want to check it out, or donate money)
In the past weeks, my biggest struggles have been trying to find a prom dress & getting money for a spring break trip. Even trying to get money to cover college seems so insignificant right now as I read his blog. In my life I like to think that I try & think of others, but really, I just realize time and time again how selfish I am. All I ever think about is how things affect me, & I lose track so many times of things that really really matter. Like life. How many days go by without us even THINKING that we are so lucky to breathe? It's like we only notice things to be thankful for when something goes wrong with them. If I can't breathe one day then when I regain that ability will be the only day I'm thankful to be able to breathe, & then it's back to not thinking about it. If I don't have money to buy food & then somehow aquire money to buy some, I'm only thankful for it when it's hard to come by. Why don't we take more time to actually sit & think about the blessings that we consider to be small, insignificant entitlements, & thank God for them as the real blessings that they are? We always learn more through struggles, when we HAVE to draw near to God to make it through. Why don't we draw near to Him more when things are good, when food and blessings are plentiful? Because we don't "need" Him. Oh, how wrong that is.
In a generation that seems to feel entitled to everything they could possibly want, we need more people to look at things a different way. To notice the sunsets, the birds singing, the simple extravagance of clean water that so many people worldwide are going without, the fellowship and encouragement of our family and friends who are there to share it all with us, & be truly thankful. It shouldn't take the absense of good things to make us realize how great they were. "You don't know what you've got until it's gone", they say. Let's know how good we've got it while we've got it. Let's not wait for something bad to happen to make us thankful for the good. Let's focus on building thankful hearts that praise our beautiful God from whom ALL blessings flow. God doesn't have to give us breath, but He does. He didn't have to send Jesus to die for us, but He did. He loves us that much. It amazes me that when Jesus died, He was thinking of ME. Along with everyone else in the world, but still, if it had just been me alone, He still would have died for me because He loves me that much. How can we not be thankful for that? If someone took a bullet for you, or pulled you out of oncoming traffic, or rescued you from the floods around you, wouldn't you be thankful? Any person would say yes. So, why aren't we more thankful to Jesus? Because we don't "need" Him right now? Why should we wait until things get bad, until death is knocking on the door, until the money runs out, until some unimaginable tragedy happens, to need Him? He doesn't need us, He's God. But He WANTS us. Is that incredible to anyone else besides me? He gives us problems to show that He can solve them. But He can also work in the little parts of our lives to show the world that He loves us through it all, not just when we turn to Him in desperation. We serve an awesome God who is there through EVERYTHING. He knows us better than we know ourselves, & amazingly, loves us still.
This was probably more rambling than I was aiming for, but all in all, God is amazing. He shows me things daily that open my eyes wider to see more than the small "world" around me, & see His whole creation, & find His glory & frequently, His incredible blessings and love for us that are all around if we take the time to notice.
Notice some small blessings today. Take five minutes, lay down in silence, & listen to yourself breathe. Let's stop taking it for granted. Let's realize what we have, & use it for His glory. He gave it all to us, anyway.
I've been sitting here reading a blog that I found through a friend who knows a man who was recently diagnosed with cancer. He, & more recently his wife, posts about their daily struggles & small triumphs as they fight his battle for life. (www.teamemmett.com if you want to check it out, or donate money)
In the past weeks, my biggest struggles have been trying to find a prom dress & getting money for a spring break trip. Even trying to get money to cover college seems so insignificant right now as I read his blog. In my life I like to think that I try & think of others, but really, I just realize time and time again how selfish I am. All I ever think about is how things affect me, & I lose track so many times of things that really really matter. Like life. How many days go by without us even THINKING that we are so lucky to breathe? It's like we only notice things to be thankful for when something goes wrong with them. If I can't breathe one day then when I regain that ability will be the only day I'm thankful to be able to breathe, & then it's back to not thinking about it. If I don't have money to buy food & then somehow aquire money to buy some, I'm only thankful for it when it's hard to come by. Why don't we take more time to actually sit & think about the blessings that we consider to be small, insignificant entitlements, & thank God for them as the real blessings that they are? We always learn more through struggles, when we HAVE to draw near to God to make it through. Why don't we draw near to Him more when things are good, when food and blessings are plentiful? Because we don't "need" Him. Oh, how wrong that is.
In a generation that seems to feel entitled to everything they could possibly want, we need more people to look at things a different way. To notice the sunsets, the birds singing, the simple extravagance of clean water that so many people worldwide are going without, the fellowship and encouragement of our family and friends who are there to share it all with us, & be truly thankful. It shouldn't take the absense of good things to make us realize how great they were. "You don't know what you've got until it's gone", they say. Let's know how good we've got it while we've got it. Let's not wait for something bad to happen to make us thankful for the good. Let's focus on building thankful hearts that praise our beautiful God from whom ALL blessings flow. God doesn't have to give us breath, but He does. He didn't have to send Jesus to die for us, but He did. He loves us that much. It amazes me that when Jesus died, He was thinking of ME. Along with everyone else in the world, but still, if it had just been me alone, He still would have died for me because He loves me that much. How can we not be thankful for that? If someone took a bullet for you, or pulled you out of oncoming traffic, or rescued you from the floods around you, wouldn't you be thankful? Any person would say yes. So, why aren't we more thankful to Jesus? Because we don't "need" Him right now? Why should we wait until things get bad, until death is knocking on the door, until the money runs out, until some unimaginable tragedy happens, to need Him? He doesn't need us, He's God. But He WANTS us. Is that incredible to anyone else besides me? He gives us problems to show that He can solve them. But He can also work in the little parts of our lives to show the world that He loves us through it all, not just when we turn to Him in desperation. We serve an awesome God who is there through EVERYTHING. He knows us better than we know ourselves, & amazingly, loves us still.
This was probably more rambling than I was aiming for, but all in all, God is amazing. He shows me things daily that open my eyes wider to see more than the small "world" around me, & see His whole creation, & find His glory & frequently, His incredible blessings and love for us that are all around if we take the time to notice.
Notice some small blessings today. Take five minutes, lay down in silence, & listen to yourself breathe. Let's stop taking it for granted. Let's realize what we have, & use it for His glory. He gave it all to us, anyway.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Plans, plans, plans.
Today I was thinking about something as I listened to the song No Such Thing by John Mayer when it came on the radio. There's a line in the song that says "'Welcome to the real world' she said to me, condescendingly, 'take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white...'"
This made me think about how at this point in my life, getting ready to enter college next year, there are so many people asking you about your plans. Everyone you talk to wants to know where you're going to school, what you're going to major in, everything about your plans. While it's obviously good to have an idea of what you want to accomplish and goals for yourself, there's so much pressure to pick what you want your life to be and just jump into chasing it. The thing is, my plans are nowhere near as wonderful as God's plans. I can't even fathom some of the things He wants to do in my life. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord..."
I love knowing that I don't have to have everything figured out. The One that made the universe and gave me life knows where my life will lead, & will help me get to certain places in my life to help me reach where He wants me to be to accomplish not my own goals for my life which are rooted in pride, vanity, and selfishness, but HIS plans for my life which are all configured to help me do the things He wants me to do in my life and the purpose of all of them which is to bring glory to Him. I think that especially at this point in life, we need to really remember that His plans are greater than our own, & we need to keep focused on what really matters in order to do His work. As my life prepares to face so many changes, I'm preparing to face them & follow HIS plans for my life, which will always beat my own. What a comfort to know, especially as a person who plans everything out all the time (serial list maker here people!) that God knows what I need better than I do, & will orchestrate my life even when I don't know what's coming.
Seeking His will,
JJ
This made me think about how at this point in my life, getting ready to enter college next year, there are so many people asking you about your plans. Everyone you talk to wants to know where you're going to school, what you're going to major in, everything about your plans. While it's obviously good to have an idea of what you want to accomplish and goals for yourself, there's so much pressure to pick what you want your life to be and just jump into chasing it. The thing is, my plans are nowhere near as wonderful as God's plans. I can't even fathom some of the things He wants to do in my life. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord..."
I love knowing that I don't have to have everything figured out. The One that made the universe and gave me life knows where my life will lead, & will help me get to certain places in my life to help me reach where He wants me to be to accomplish not my own goals for my life which are rooted in pride, vanity, and selfishness, but HIS plans for my life which are all configured to help me do the things He wants me to do in my life and the purpose of all of them which is to bring glory to Him. I think that especially at this point in life, we need to really remember that His plans are greater than our own, & we need to keep focused on what really matters in order to do His work. As my life prepares to face so many changes, I'm preparing to face them & follow HIS plans for my life, which will always beat my own. What a comfort to know, especially as a person who plans everything out all the time (serial list maker here people!) that God knows what I need better than I do, & will orchestrate my life even when I don't know what's coming.
Seeking His will,
JJ
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Update.
As I approach the end of yet another week, I realize that things have been moving so fast lately I've hardly had time to stop & review all the amazing things that are going on. So, here's an update.
I've decided where I'm going to college, which is a blessing all in itself. I've picked North Greenville University, right back to my hometown, which I am excited about for so many reasons. So now rather than dreading everything because I had no idea where everything was going to lead, I'm now super excited & can't wait to be back in Greenville, back with so many old friends, & in NGU in general. Can't wait. And I've also recieved a 12k scholarship which is such a blessing & I just have about 8k more to get from more scholarships hopefully. But things are good, & God has provided for me this far, & He'll definitely continue to do so.
We are almost done with IA's at school which are horrible IB projects/papers/experiments/presentations, depending on the class. SO ready for these to be over. We only have probably 2 more to finish right now, which is glorious. That'll be another thing I'll be so happy to move on from. Those are two of the big milestones. Other than that, it's life as usual these days. Just getting through school to move on to the next part. Week after next we have a week off which will be glorious. I can't wait for some time to just think about things other than school. Right now that's where my mind stays. After this one more week though, we only have 9 more weeks in school. Totally incredible.
After going & visiting NGU & doing a tour & everything, I can't wait to live there. I think about it 24/7 now. The Spirit of God is so evidently such a huge part of that campus & everyone you talk to basically. It's so awesome. I can't wait to see what God will do in my time there & how He'll prepare me there for all the time that will come after.
In His grasp,
Jessica
I've decided where I'm going to college, which is a blessing all in itself. I've picked North Greenville University, right back to my hometown, which I am excited about for so many reasons. So now rather than dreading everything because I had no idea where everything was going to lead, I'm now super excited & can't wait to be back in Greenville, back with so many old friends, & in NGU in general. Can't wait. And I've also recieved a 12k scholarship which is such a blessing & I just have about 8k more to get from more scholarships hopefully. But things are good, & God has provided for me this far, & He'll definitely continue to do so.
We are almost done with IA's at school which are horrible IB projects/papers/experiments/presentations, depending on the class. SO ready for these to be over. We only have probably 2 more to finish right now, which is glorious. That'll be another thing I'll be so happy to move on from. Those are two of the big milestones. Other than that, it's life as usual these days. Just getting through school to move on to the next part. Week after next we have a week off which will be glorious. I can't wait for some time to just think about things other than school. Right now that's where my mind stays. After this one more week though, we only have 9 more weeks in school. Totally incredible.
After going & visiting NGU & doing a tour & everything, I can't wait to live there. I think about it 24/7 now. The Spirit of God is so evidently such a huge part of that campus & everyone you talk to basically. It's so awesome. I can't wait to see what God will do in my time there & how He'll prepare me there for all the time that will come after.
In His grasp,
Jessica
Friday, February 12, 2010
Snow? In Georgia?
As I sit here at the computer, to my left in the big window of our kitchen, the most beautiful snow is falling outside. It's so pretty & hasn't even so much as slowed down for probably 4 hours. These blizzards & all this snow in the east finally decided to come visit us! I thought I was ready for spring to come, which I am, but this part of winter I can definitely live with. Tonight me & the parents are making chicken & dumplings, watching movies, & just staying warm. I love it. The beauty of it is that Monday we have the day off so I get a 4 day weekend! Super love it.
Next Wednesday after school I'll be leaving for my big scholarship interview. I'm so excited, I can't wait to go get that over with. Not in a bad way either, I'm really ready for it. Praying hard that it comes through. I'm so tired of hearing, thinking, looking at money, I could scream. So if I got this 12k, it would definitely take a little bit of that away. And I get to miss school for it! Even better. I would never in my life complain about missing school.
These past few weeks have been filled with school, aerobics class twice a week (which is so fun & I wouldn't miss it for the world, no matter how busy I am), & sleeping as much as I have time for! The number of Internal Assessments, which we have for every class, are thankfully decreasing with how many we have left. Then after we're done with those, we'll just have to focus on keeping up grades & getting ready for exams. I can't believe it's all passed by this fast, it feels like last week it was Homecoming week & we were at the last home football game. But I'm so excited that we're getting this close to being done. And me & my friends are all busy planning Spring break, summer trips, & other fun things to do before we all go away. The going away will be sad but everything leading up to it will be some amazing memories.
I'm so thankful for everything I have, & the opportunities the Lord is giving me right now. Looking forward to many more beautiful days to remind me of His glory & how wonderful this life is that He has given me!
Love love love.
Next Wednesday after school I'll be leaving for my big scholarship interview. I'm so excited, I can't wait to go get that over with. Not in a bad way either, I'm really ready for it. Praying hard that it comes through. I'm so tired of hearing, thinking, looking at money, I could scream. So if I got this 12k, it would definitely take a little bit of that away. And I get to miss school for it! Even better. I would never in my life complain about missing school.
These past few weeks have been filled with school, aerobics class twice a week (which is so fun & I wouldn't miss it for the world, no matter how busy I am), & sleeping as much as I have time for! The number of Internal Assessments, which we have for every class, are thankfully decreasing with how many we have left. Then after we're done with those, we'll just have to focus on keeping up grades & getting ready for exams. I can't believe it's all passed by this fast, it feels like last week it was Homecoming week & we were at the last home football game. But I'm so excited that we're getting this close to being done. And me & my friends are all busy planning Spring break, summer trips, & other fun things to do before we all go away. The going away will be sad but everything leading up to it will be some amazing memories.
I'm so thankful for everything I have, & the opportunities the Lord is giving me right now. Looking forward to many more beautiful days to remind me of His glory & how wonderful this life is that He has given me!
Love love love.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Let the countdown begin.
It's been a while since I've had time to write in this thing. I haven't really wanted to though, because every time I do I feel like all I talk about is school, which isn't interesting to read about for others, & I'm tired of thinking about it, since that's pretty much all my life is right now. So here's to talking about things besides school.
I've been reading a ton lately, it's the only way I can turn off thinking about school & the future & all the other things I constantly think about. & my lovely friend Emily lent me Redeeming Love, which was amazing. READ IT. It painted such a beautiful picture of who God is & how no matter what we do, no matter what we've done, He's always waiting to take us back, & loving us just as much as He ever has, & ever will. It was such a great story. Definitely in my top 5 favorites ever. Now it's on to the next book. I've got quite a few I'm behind on reading, I buy them faster than I can read them. But that was definitely a good book to read.
Being that this is Sunday, I'm about to start another week of school. Gross. But the good thing is, 2 days ago meant that another week was done! We only have 12 weeks until exams start, which is exciting. 12 weeks & counting, & 2 of those are Spring break & Spring intersession which are full weeks off. Can't. Wait. I've started looking online for things for my dorm room too, which is exciting. I would say I can't believe it's almost here, but I can. I've watched week after week pass by sometimes painfully slow, & even though as senior year approached I wished it would slow down, since the day it started I've been counting down for it to be over. I can't wait to begin this new chapter of my life & see what God has planned. I've been reminded of how infinitely better His plans are lately than ours. He works things out in His timing, & if we're patient we get things we never could have orchestrated or sometimes even dreamed up on our own. It's amazing. I'm just so glad to get to live it & experience His blessings.
Well, homework calls, as always. Love love love.
I've been reading a ton lately, it's the only way I can turn off thinking about school & the future & all the other things I constantly think about. & my lovely friend Emily lent me Redeeming Love, which was amazing. READ IT. It painted such a beautiful picture of who God is & how no matter what we do, no matter what we've done, He's always waiting to take us back, & loving us just as much as He ever has, & ever will. It was such a great story. Definitely in my top 5 favorites ever. Now it's on to the next book. I've got quite a few I'm behind on reading, I buy them faster than I can read them. But that was definitely a good book to read.
Being that this is Sunday, I'm about to start another week of school. Gross. But the good thing is, 2 days ago meant that another week was done! We only have 12 weeks until exams start, which is exciting. 12 weeks & counting, & 2 of those are Spring break & Spring intersession which are full weeks off. Can't. Wait. I've started looking online for things for my dorm room too, which is exciting. I would say I can't believe it's almost here, but I can. I've watched week after week pass by sometimes painfully slow, & even though as senior year approached I wished it would slow down, since the day it started I've been counting down for it to be over. I can't wait to begin this new chapter of my life & see what God has planned. I've been reminded of how infinitely better His plans are lately than ours. He works things out in His timing, & if we're patient we get things we never could have orchestrated or sometimes even dreamed up on our own. It's amazing. I'm just so glad to get to live it & experience His blessings.
Well, homework calls, as always. Love love love.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Here's to the Future.
Some exciting news...da da da daaah! I got into college last week. Last friday, actually, & I have a great scholarship opportunity (Pray that that comes through, by the way). I'm totally not having any doubts about this school because I'm totally excited to go there & especially to live close to my best friend again, that is definitely such a plus, but I'm getting old & college makes me think about it. I've been thinking a lot, as I enter my last four months of high school, have I done all I could do? Have I been the witness I could have been to all these people that I'm with every day? Have I shown God's love in everything I say? Have I been all I could be? & the answer, unfortunately, to all these questions, is no. Have I done absolutely everything I could do? No. I could say I had but that wouldn't be honest. But the wonderful thing is that I'm still learning, & I still have four full months to do all that I can, & God is a God of second chances, & third, & fourth... What I love about God is that He never stops teaching us things, & showing us ways we can improve if we ask Him to. Which is a scary thought, because He usually shows us more than we want to see! But He only does it so we can change & become more like Him.
As I start looking towards college as it starts speeding up on its way to meet me in the middle, I'm thinking a ton about the future. Tomorrow our senior quotes are due. I've pretty much decided on one. It says "When we are full of hope, it's not because everything in the future is promised to us, but because the future itself is filled with promise." I have such excitement thinking about all that God has in store for my life. All the people I'm going to meet, all the things I can accomplish for Him, & hopefully all the lives I can make a difference in. I'm just so ready for May 28th so I can get out there & get started. I'm just feeling so blessed to have the opportunities God has given me right now that He's already shown, & so excited with anticipation for what's to come. This week for the first time all senior year long, I've felt drastically less stressed. This is due to a variety of reasons, one being that I turned in one of my largest papers Tuesday that is no longer hanging over my head, & now that I'm into my college I don't have to worry about choosing anymore. But also, I'm just so ready to get everything else finished, I'm finally just trying to get it done so I can move on. Most people at this point are wanting to stop working, which of course I do too, I won't lie, but I want to finish strong too. I truly believe that only God could have put these desires in my heart. This year has been THAT hard! But He's taught me so much & as hard as these past two years have been, I feel prepared for what's to come, & not just academically. These past two years have given me the basis to go do well in college & then go do well with whatever else He has on my life to-do list. Can't wait to start marking things off that don't end with School or University. But we'll take that as it comes.
I went tonight after aerobics class at church & visited my grandparent's graves. I hadn't been to the graves since Papa's funeral which was 4 years ago. I've never felt so close to them since they've been gone which was really special. But I was just thinking about their legacy that they left. I wish that everyone I talk to about them could understand how amazing they were. I was only twelve when Grandmama died, so honestly, sometimes I didn't. But after Grandmama (Jones) died & we lived with Papa for two years, I got to know him so well which was such a blessing to have that time. I'm just so grateful for the ways that they lived. All three of my grandparents loved Jesus so much & lived it. After losing Grandmama (Johnson) especially this year, it's been so weird to not be able to just call her. With the situation with her though, she had gone down and down for a while & I was already kind of used to not talking to her all the time, so sometimes I feel like she's still around & I should go see her. It feels like we're still stuck in that gradual decline that seemed to go on forever. But I'm just glad for their legacies that they all three left, & the memories. I definitely feel a pang whenever my friends talk about their grandparents or what their grandparents are getting them for graduation or whatever, but honestly, I'm so lucky & blessed to just have had the chance to know my own. Even if the time was fleeting, I learned so much from all three of them. There's no way possible to share what they were, but I know that it was Jesus that made the difference. Overall, I just miss them. But the amazing thing is knowing that I'll see them again. Isn't that awesome? I just hope and pray that when I die people will say the same things about me. I want a legacy that lasts long after I'm gone, & not just for people to miss me, but to know what a different Jesus made in my life. Without Him, I'm just Jessica. But with Him, "I can do all things..."
Enough ranting, tonight was a weird little mix of thoughts, forgive my scatterbrainness...I know that's not a word, not in that form anyway. Can't wait for this weekend to finally get a little break. I'm so excited to do some reading & even more excited to do some going out with my friends!
Life is good, & God is good. I'm so thankful for every step of this journey.
As I start looking towards college as it starts speeding up on its way to meet me in the middle, I'm thinking a ton about the future. Tomorrow our senior quotes are due. I've pretty much decided on one. It says "When we are full of hope, it's not because everything in the future is promised to us, but because the future itself is filled with promise." I have such excitement thinking about all that God has in store for my life. All the people I'm going to meet, all the things I can accomplish for Him, & hopefully all the lives I can make a difference in. I'm just so ready for May 28th so I can get out there & get started. I'm just feeling so blessed to have the opportunities God has given me right now that He's already shown, & so excited with anticipation for what's to come. This week for the first time all senior year long, I've felt drastically less stressed. This is due to a variety of reasons, one being that I turned in one of my largest papers Tuesday that is no longer hanging over my head, & now that I'm into my college I don't have to worry about choosing anymore. But also, I'm just so ready to get everything else finished, I'm finally just trying to get it done so I can move on. Most people at this point are wanting to stop working, which of course I do too, I won't lie, but I want to finish strong too. I truly believe that only God could have put these desires in my heart. This year has been THAT hard! But He's taught me so much & as hard as these past two years have been, I feel prepared for what's to come, & not just academically. These past two years have given me the basis to go do well in college & then go do well with whatever else He has on my life to-do list. Can't wait to start marking things off that don't end with School or University. But we'll take that as it comes.
I went tonight after aerobics class at church & visited my grandparent's graves. I hadn't been to the graves since Papa's funeral which was 4 years ago. I've never felt so close to them since they've been gone which was really special. But I was just thinking about their legacy that they left. I wish that everyone I talk to about them could understand how amazing they were. I was only twelve when Grandmama died, so honestly, sometimes I didn't. But after Grandmama (Jones) died & we lived with Papa for two years, I got to know him so well which was such a blessing to have that time. I'm just so grateful for the ways that they lived. All three of my grandparents loved Jesus so much & lived it. After losing Grandmama (Johnson) especially this year, it's been so weird to not be able to just call her. With the situation with her though, she had gone down and down for a while & I was already kind of used to not talking to her all the time, so sometimes I feel like she's still around & I should go see her. It feels like we're still stuck in that gradual decline that seemed to go on forever. But I'm just glad for their legacies that they all three left, & the memories. I definitely feel a pang whenever my friends talk about their grandparents or what their grandparents are getting them for graduation or whatever, but honestly, I'm so lucky & blessed to just have had the chance to know my own. Even if the time was fleeting, I learned so much from all three of them. There's no way possible to share what they were, but I know that it was Jesus that made the difference. Overall, I just miss them. But the amazing thing is knowing that I'll see them again. Isn't that awesome? I just hope and pray that when I die people will say the same things about me. I want a legacy that lasts long after I'm gone, & not just for people to miss me, but to know what a different Jesus made in my life. Without Him, I'm just Jessica. But with Him, "I can do all things..."
Enough ranting, tonight was a weird little mix of thoughts, forgive my scatterbrainness...I know that's not a word, not in that form anyway. Can't wait for this weekend to finally get a little break. I'm so excited to do some reading & even more excited to do some going out with my friends!
Life is good, & God is good. I'm so thankful for every step of this journey.
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