Teenage girls.

Thankfully I'm in my last few months of that horrible institution they call high school. & looking back on the last few years, I've been doing a lot of thinking about things I've noticed. Especially this year. I'm not normally one to have many close girl friends but this year we've developed our own little group of girls that have gotten pretty close. So I've had many more girls to study. The underclassmen especially give me plenty to notice, & even though with some people you can't really expect them to grasp things unless they learn it for themselves, life lessons anyway, I started thinking about what I wish they could learn. Things that would save them a ton of drama, heartache, & pain. So I thought I'd write about it. These are all ideas that have worked in my life, & saved me from tons of the above possible consequences. Maybe they'll help someone, maybe not. But I may as well put them out there.

1. Don't chase boys. This is the number one thing that has saved me. I haven't had a boyfriend through all four years of high school. Many people would think this was because I couldn't get anyone. However, it's been a choice. I've been "liked", I've been on dates, I've even liked some guys myself. But all in all, in high school it wasn't something I wanted to do. I personally have very high standards for guys that I want to date. & in middle school around 8th grade, after a few two to three week "relationships" (I use that term for lack of a better word), I decided I didn't want to date anyone I wouldn't want to marry. I didn't want to waste my time or theirs. & also a huge deciding factor in that decision was the fact that I want to marry a Christian godly guy, who also possesses all the qualities I would like, which I have not found at my school. The beautiful thing though is I'm not worried. I know that God will bring me to him, & him to me, when the timing is right. & some girls say this but then continue looking & try to make it happen themselves. The fact is, you can't make it happen. You can find someone & try to make them what you want them to be but it won't be as great as it will be if you let God do it. This means that you have to wait it out. The wonderful part about that is that there are so many things to do while you're waiting! I've used this time to learn more about myself. I haven't been worried about being who someone else wanted me to be & I've been able to really get to know myself & look even further into what I want for the future & take those desires to God. Also, many girls that get boyfriends in high school get super serious super fast & let it kind of take over. I've lost a couple friends who got boyfriends & were so caught up for the entirety of the length of the relationship, which in all cases has ended eventually, that we lost touch completely in the process. On the other end, I've been able to invest myself completely into great friendships since I haven't had that to steal my attention. The way I see it, when I get married I'll be with that person forever basically. So why not use the time I have single to build friendships & have fun while I can? Clean fun, that is. Since that went down that route, that brings me to my next point.

2. Don't give in to the pressures of partying. Most high schoolers give the impression that there's no fun to be had unless you're completely wasted. Some people would probably even say that because I haven't done it, I can't possibly imagine how much fun it is. I'm sorry, but no. I don't, & haven't ever, seen the appeal of not being in control of yourself. Of putting things in your body that aren't only illegal, not only totally not good for you, but things that mess up your judgment, make you do things you wouldn't do otherwise, & most of all how can you possibly have fun when you won't even remember it the next day? Where the logic is in that? I'm not sure because I can't find it. The Christian life is the best life there is. God created so many things in this world purely for our enjoyment & pleasure. There are so many ways to have fun that do not require putting things in your body that have the potential to hurt you, not to mention get you in trouble. If you have good friends there is no limit to the fun you can have, WITHOUT anything like drugs or alcohol! I've had no shortage of a social life, or fun just because I don't party. & I've never had a night in all of my teenage years that I've regretted. How many people can say that? I've talked to people that I know that are frequent partiers just to try to understand why they do it. One response I got was that it was an escape. That his life was so bad that it was an escape for him for a while so he could have some fun. The truth is, whatever you're going through, even if you can't handle it, God can. He can be that escape that you need. He's the calm in the storm, for goodness sakes He's the one that made the ocean that makes the storm! If anyone can be your escape, He can. He can take whatever you throw at Him. One of my favorites quotes about God is that He has never ever been surprised. There hasn't been an event ever in history that made God say oh my goodness, really? How did that happen? He created the earth & everything in it, He knows all of us & our hearts & our secrets. He made us, & He loves us. He wants to help us get through the hard times. You don't need drugs & alcohol to help with that, because it's a God sized void that won't be filled. So just do the easy thing. Turn to God, surrender it all to Him, & then if you want to have fun, go bowling.

3. Choose good friends. One of the biggest challenges in not just high school but life, can be finding good friends. Friends that are actually friends. Sometimes this is hard to do. But as they say, if you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas. Having good friends is one of the best ways to get through it. Surrounding yourself with positive people who love Jesus are going to lift you up as well. If you're worried about being friends with the popular people, you're not looking for the right friends. I don't want to make people think that you can't be friends with certain people, because you can, & should, love everyone, flaws included. The main point however is to make your closest friends those that are making good decisions. That's the easiest way to stay out of trouble, & avoid drama. Of course since this is directed primarily at girls, girls have drama. Doesn't really matter who your friends are, unless you're really lucky like me & my best friend who have seriously never had an argument (or really disagreed on anything, amazingly), you're going to have little fights & drama. But if you have good friends, you can resolve it in a productive way & remain friends. Also if you're a Christian, the people that you're surrounding yourself with not only need to be Christians to benefit you, but those that are watching you. If people know you're saved, those that are searching will be watching you, & if you're going out with the partiers, or speaking in a way that doesn't glorify God, these people could be hurt spiritually by your actions, even if you didn't think it would bother anyone but you. As Christians, we're examples to the world & we need to always remember this in our decisions. So choose good friends who will not only encourage you, but help you live a life that will encourage others & lead them to Jesus.

4. Don't be afraid to be an individual. High school is a time when many people are trying to find themselves. In many cases, people that come in to high school as freshmen leave as completely different people when they're seniors. People are all growing up & changing. The pressure in this is to fit in. To find a group that will accept you. & many people compromise who they are to fit this mold of who they think they have to be to have friends. This isn't realistic though. Real friends will accept you as you are & love you for it. If you have to change to make a friend, they're not really your friend. Be yourself. Be honest with yourself & others about who that is & embrace it. You don't want to live your life as someone else. God created us all to be individuals, & gave us specific gifts that no one else has. Love yourself & who He made you, & live as the person He created you to be!


These of course are all directed at Christians. & if you're not a Christian, I wish you'd rethink that. But these have definitely helped me, & I hope they can help someone else. God only wants the best for us, so that's what we need to strive for! Love you, whoever you are. & so does Jesus!